I've been trying to process if there's much I can speak to in this horrible pandemic (that a terrifying amount of people think is a hoax) from my days as a grief counselor. I don't know if there is. But just in case one of you is following a comedian in the hopes he'll say this…

1) It doesn't matter if you were close to someone who died. Some of us experience grief intensely just by watching the news or losing a job. You deserve to take time to process your loss. If anyone tells you differently, tell them you need some communication distance.

2) Look for peace before anything. Download a breathing app. Find someone who likes guided meditation and ask them to send you an audio file walking you through a 2-10 minute session. Ask another person if you don't like their voice. Sit in the dark with your eyes open. Breathe.

3) You're allowed to see the world differently now. You're allowed to feel like a completely different person. Affirm that you are, and if the people in your personal life need to hear it, communicate it to them when you have found your peace with it.

4) You might have to work, you might have obligations, but nobody can tell you HOW to grieve. If you've found a polite and private way of doing it, and you like it, interrupt anyone who tries to unsolicited greif-splain you with something akin to, "Thanks, but I'm good."

5) You might enjoy a different kind of entertainment now. More peaceful TV shows and music, more violent movies, who knows. We all process real-life horror differently. If you find what works for you, and nobody gets hurt, chilling for you can be as different as it needs to be.

6) Find "new rituals." Find time to read. Find "me music time." Light candles or get a diffuser with an oil you like. Go for a walk, even just around your block or in circles in the living room. This is nice when life ISN'T traumatic, but rituals let you own structure. It's nice.

Maybe I'll add more later but these are the things that have coalesced over the last few months. If it helps one person I'm glad I clogged my timeline with it. My best to you all, even the people who scare the hell out of me. May we all find a way to be happy.

I'm lucky in that I have already been through trauma and did a lot of "work on myself" in 2018 and 2019 so I don't think I've been changed too much by 2020 in a negative way. But I feel for everybody and I've been kicking this thread around my head for 6-ish months.