I was up last night thinking about how I could have handled getting-DM'd better, and whether I should have tweeted about it. I was on the defensive, and that's never a great start. Since this seems to happen widely, a few thoughts on cold reach-outs, if you're considering it...

1) If you are a man, consider gender dynamics, and that women are both conditioned to be nice and worried about being stalked/murdered. I know that's heavy but it's a real concern.

2) Reach out from your most professional profile, and ONLY that one at first. If you DM me from an account that looks at all shady, I'm going to have suspicions from the get-go. Be patient about hearing back before you try another platform.

3) Consider that you may feel like you know me, but I know nothing about you. So if you reach out stating facts about me but none about you, I may feel creeped out.

A great cold reach-out would include some facts about you so we're on an even playing ground. Example: "Hi, I've been enjoying your tweets and I'm a dog groomer in Chicago thinking about making the leap to writing in LA. Do you have time to chat?"

4) Maybe wait until we actually start chatting to ask questions. Sometimes questions that may feel innocuous can actually press on sensitive topics that may not be apparent to an outsider.

It sounds like, "Why haven't you been staffed yet?" is thrown around a lot. Leading with that is like asking, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" or "When are you going to have kids?" It's a what's-wrong-with-you question.

If you can't think of a better way to ask it (similar to if you can't think of a better way to say "Are you pregnant?") maybe just... don't. Honestly, the answer to that question is not likely going to be super helpful to you, it's incredibly case-specific.

5) It's safe to assume, if you're asking from outside the industry, that any "Have you thought of...?" is going to be answered with a, "Yeah, I have." Trust me, I spent 10+ years trying to get staffed, I left no stone unturned.

6) Remember that social media is only half (or less) of anyone's story. If I don't talk about having a manager, it doesn't mean I don't have one. If I make jokes about failure, it doesn't mean I'm trying to change careers.

7) Understand that if I take time to answer you, I'm trying to be nice or helpful. If it doesn't work out that way, I'm going to be just as rattled as you are.

Okay, that's entirely enough out of me. But if anybody has questions or further contributions, this is a nice safe open space!