1/A bit about me: I was born in TX, I'm white & I grew up in a strictly conservative Christian evangelical household. We attended church 3x/week. Women & girls were not allowed to speak in church, or to address male members of the congregation without permission from the elders.

2/ Music, except for singing, was also forbidden in church. Instruments they thought distracted us from the meaning and prayer of the words. So no guitars, no keyboard, no church band. DEFINITELY no drums or electronics. It was all acapella. I learned a lot of 4-part harmonies.

3/ God, I was told, watched my thoughts at all time. To think a sin was - in effect - to do it. So I was taught, from a very young age, to police my own thoughts. No bad thoughts. No bad thoughts.

New & uncomfortable feelings? Attractions?=Bad thoughts.

4/ I was told God would sit in judgment at the end of all days, I would need to account for my sins, which would be replayed for the *entire world* to see. The shame of the idea alone was enough to keep me up at night - watching that film screen in the sky of all my bad thoughts.

5/ As a child, my parents were super supportive. Always encouraging me I could do anything.
But as a child assigned girl, I understood my ultimate role was to be a "help-mate" to a male partner, to have children, to raise a family that would follow the teachings of Jesus.

6/ Our church was nearly 99% white, cisgender, non-disabled middle class & employed.

Non-white members, unhoused & disabled members, were held up as examples of how we weren't racist/ableist/discriminatory towards the poor. We were generous! Welcoming! Inclusive!

7/ Gay people, trans people, queer folks of any kind- I didn't know any growing up.

Of course, that's ridiculous-I totally knew them. But I didn't *know* that I knew them? Why?

In part, because in my church, these folks weren't just to be shamed or avoided...they didn't exist.

8/ We had a book we followed in our pre-teens class called "How to Train Up a Child". Note chapters 5-10 about guilt, self-loathing & "Applying the Rod" https://www.amazon.com/Child-Child-Training-Century-Updated-Expanded/dp/1616440724

9/ This book and training philosophy indoctrinates "future" parents into the belief that absolute obedience is the hallmark of a godly child, and loving parents will force that obedience (and drive out the devil's wickedness) through corporal punishment. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-25268343

10/What I have to emphasize here is the mindset in which these actions are framed:That of love. That you are "loving" your child when you apply these techniques. That you are "loving" your neighbor when you call out their wickedness & sin-you are "loving" them into righteousness.

11/ Liberal friends here in Western Mass sometimes wonder openly to me: "How is it that some Christian evangelicals can ignore the violence that violent philosophies like bootstrapping-to-success or "sexual purity" or womb policing or anti-trans hate have on their communities?"

12/ I'll tell you: Because, from an early age, we're taught to equate this violence w/ "love"
Erasure of trans ppl?=love
Punishing unwed pregnant folks?=love
Kids in cages?=Their parents are "illegal";love
Police brutality against Black ppl?=Must have done something wrong; love

13/As a queer and non-binary person, I didn't even know who I am was even possible growing up.

Queer & trans narratives were completely absent from all materials I was allowed to access.

Cisgender hetero relationships *with other Christians* (the 'sanctity' of marriage) only.

14/ Folks can't respect what they refuse to acknowledge exists. Human rights don't apply to folks not seen as human possibilities in the first place.

Violence can be (and is) explained away as the means to a necessary end - a corporal way of "loving" god's people back to him.

15/And I'll add, some of those books our church class was asked to read had chapters about "dangers" and "challenges" of "mixing" in marriages with folks of other (read: non-white) races or non-Christian religions. Yes, pure unbridled white supremacy, sold as relationship advice.

16/ We were told this was not only for our own good, but for the good of god's people. So that our community would remain strong. Because...wait for it....an overarching belief within that particular (white-dominated, cis/hetero) church was that *we* were the persecuted.

17/ You wonder why wide swaths of the Bible Belt dominated by white cishet folks with decent incomes & comfortable lives keep claiming "reverse racism" or "oppression" when asked to recognize the humanity of BILPOC, migrant, trans, or queer people?

Answer-->

18/ They (we) were taught from day 1 that because we were so pure and steadfast in our "love" for god, we would be persecuted.

AND-important point here- that when that "persecution" happened, we could to afford to break ranks, or listen to the Devil's persuasion BUT-->

19/ That in those moments, we needed to CLOSE OUR EARS AND OUR EYES and double-down on our 'righteous' stances [no matter how dehumanizing, how violent, how racist and ableist and misogynistic and transmisic and xenophobic they might be] because that is how we would remain "true"

20/ In other words, the institution has been designed *expressly to prevent* its members, including its youngest members, to be open to learning & unlearning harmful beliefs grounded in white supremacy.

And easily weaponized by those who might seek to manipulate from the top.

21/ So when recent nominees tell you about their beliefs, like that trans people don't exist, or that folks showing up for Black lives deserve to be punished...

BELIEVE that they actually believe these things.
And no amount of explaining or magical thinking will change that.

22/ Sidebar: This thread also explains why HRC slogans like "Love Conquers Hate" & "United Against Hate" don't work on white evangelicals...who do not see their discriminatory and violent actions or belief systems as "hate".

They think they're on the side of "love".

23/ Oh yeah, and to any white women crossing their fingers that the current Supreme Court nominee, once installed, might magically 'awaken' & change her mind on issues she's already said-quite plainly-she's against-think again.
Ain't happening.
White feminism is violence.