p5R AU where M put Akiren to sleep at the start of his reality and Goro immediately goes to find him in the attic where he's been forgotten. He's not leaving Ren in the cobweb and dust so he decides to kidnap him and take him back to his place until he can find a way to+ #akeshu

wake him up. Akechi bridal carries Ren to his place, complaining to him the whole time about how he's his rival and supposed to be better than this, etc. He gives Ren his bed and decides to go do his own research, but before he goes he has a soft moment, and kisses Ren's wrist+

and Ren's eyes immediately flutter open. He wakes up groggy, still half asleep. "Goro?" And Goro freaks out. Unfortunately it only lasts for a couple of seconds before Ren passes out again. Goro tries slapping him and pinching his cheeks and pouring water on him and all+

sorts of things but the only thing that keeps Ren awake is a wrist smooch & it's only for like 1 min tops. Essentially Maruki went too ham on the fairy tale metaphors and now only true love's kiss can keep Ren awake but it must be constantly renewed. They experiment and find+

that wrist smooch is 1 min. Forehead smooch is like 10 min. Cheek smooch is 30-45 min. Full on chaste lip smooch is 1 hr. But the filthier the kiss the longer Ren stays awake. Goro needs Ren's help to get through the new palace so whenever Ren's eyes start drooping he yanks Ren+

close & full on french kisses him to maximize the time he stays awake. Dipping Ren during the kiss adds 15 min so that's what they have to do. When they join Sumi, they get curious if it's only Goro or anyone so they wait till Ren's about to fall asleep & Sumi kisses his forehead

but nothing happens so nope it's only Goro. When they confront Maruki he gives them some bs answer & refuses to fix it, so they have to deal with it. Goro figures out that if he just keeps kissing Ren as often as possible, Ren basically functions as if he's fully awake so they+

grow accustomed to kissing all the time, & neither of them are complaining bc they've loved each other silently for a long time. Ren kisses Goro whenever he starts feeling tired / after battle. Goro kisses Ren whenever he feels like it bc he has the perfect excuse now. Come time+

for the Phantom Thieves to rejoin. The first time Goro pulls Ren into an almost 5 minute long makeout session in front of everyone, half the members almost pass out. But Ren and Goro both move on like nothing happened w/ no explanation. The PTs pretend it was a mass hallucination

but then it just keeps happening. In safe rooms, Ren and Goro are all over each other and they keep kissing after battles or when they do their Showtime attack together and everyone is very confused but not sure if they want to ask. Both of them have almost made it a competition+

of who can kiss the other better. Goro is also competing against himself. After he kisses Ren, he times it to see how long Ren stays awake afterwards & keeps trying to beat his record by kissing Ren more passionately. Ann assumes they got their shit together & are finally dating+

but no. They still have not talked about their feelings despite locking lips hundreds of times. When Ren finally explains, all the PTs want to see if it would work if they did it but Goro gets jealous & Ren wants to keep kissing Goro so they refuse.

I will write this and post this eventually haha.