new GBBO minor spoilers

forcing them to bake cake faces is a horror show whyyyyyyyy i hate it

honestly these kind of look like the wax heads students had to do during restorative arts classes in mortuary college

not kidding

also can i just say that you don’t use wax to rebuild an entire fkn face?! like, least realistic classroom experience ever. i didn’t even get enough wax to finish mine, as you can see in that last pic

you use what you can of the decedent’s actual, y’know, face. the wax is just for places where you can’t. and even then it’s a superficial layer

i had a decedent years ago who took a gunshot wound to the face for asking the downstairs neighbors to turn down their music and i was the only one who thought i could fix it so i begged for the opportunity to do so

and everybody said i was green and overzealous BUT i got the go

anyways i had to go to home depot and i ended up wiring his skull and jaw back together and using expanding foam to fill his empty brain case so it would all stay functional

the home depot guy who helped me was extremely uh useful

and then i excised the burnt tissue from the gunshot wound that was on his skin

and then i used suture to basket weave a base and bring the wound together as much as possible

and only THEN i built a base with mortuary wax!

and that wasn’t even the end, my favorite supervising embalmer showed me this killer trick of recreating skin texture with 1/2 a tissue and superglue so that went over the wax

nobody builds an entire head out of wax and it’s a waste of time and energy for mortuary students

and also for GBBO

anyways long story short the family went from closed casket to leaving the casket open for visitation and i got a letter from corporate saying THX

oh yeah just fyi if you think you have a local funeral home there’s like a 90%+ possibility they’re corporate but kept the family name so nobody caught on

also like a tissue pulled apart into two layers not one cut in half

anyways it would be more realistic for mortuary college to have classes in vacuuming and dusting fake flowers cuz THAT’S WHATCHA DO ALL DAY

so much fucking vacuuming on slow days

we also had a case where a brother and sister were executed by a rival gang and the entire funeral showed up flashing gang colors

the people working the service always had to arrange with the funeral director to make sure we weren’t wearing rival colors

anyways doing part of my embalming internship in a high violence area was embalming on hard mode but it made me a much better mortician

i forget like 85% of you just think of me as idk DND and disability i guess? no mortuary cuz i’ve been out for so long

this is why i never give myself a spooky halloween name. y’all. i have seen some shit and i can still feel it in my hands if i think about it. my entire life has been spooky.

i got licensed as an embalmer on halloween

okay okay i’m done

for now

okay but that home depot guy. “so what can i use to fill up the brain cavity? i can dry it out but it won’t be perfect. gonna be kinda damp in there, nature of the work. i’ve got a foam mannequin head i was thinking might work...”

“oh perfect! cut down the mannequin head but use this expanding foam around it.” and then he told me about how we’d taken care of his family members for years