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We talk a lot about disabled ppl serving as inspiration porn for the ableds, but I want to also discuss how the ableds feel entitled to "inspire" your disabilities away. Basically every disabled person has had a nondisabled person (or 50) give them a specific sort of "pep talk".
It's the usual "overcoming" BS but they don't just doubt your knowledge of your own bodymind and feel entitled to strip you of your autonomy and impose their will, they also think you've been waiting your whole life for them to do it -- for them to so thoroughly dehumanize you.
They think they're your savior. You (obviously?) need saving and it's your lucky day: they're here to save you whether you like it or not, so prepare to have your boundaries thoroughly violated in the name of fun and adventure.
It's a common trope in "literature" and film: the indefatigable abled helper/partner/ward/etc... mows through the morose cripple's defenses to "inspire" them to "live again". So get ready to rediscover your (apparently lost?) zest for life -- and no you don't have a choice!
There is no pain, no fatigue, no pacing, no appointment schedules, no flares -- no bodyminds to speak of, in fact -- once the formerly sad and useless disabled vessel for ableist indoctrination is animated by the arrogance of the excruciatingly irrepressible abled character.
Let me be clear: this behaviour is presumptuous in the extreme and it does not matter if the failure to respect a disabled person's boundaries is "well intentioned"; it is an egregious violation rooted in harmful stereotypes. It is oppressive and indefensible.
Whenever I encounter this shit, I get out as fast as I possibly can because it tells me that the other person does not see me as a person or respect my knowledge and needs; I am a canvas for a fantasy world that will be painted at my expense.
My ex used to do this, and recently a date came at me with that same sort of judgement delivered as a breathless challenge; she wanted to know whether I deliberately "keep my world small".
I don't keep my world "small". I tend to my world. I keep it manageable based on my body's needs and the available supports. I keep it sustainable so that I can live in a way that is meaningful to me based on what is presently available to me.
I don't feel "inspired" by nondisabled ppl failing to understand the parameters of my existence and pushing me to change those parameters without grasping (or bearing) the consequences of doing so. There is absolutely nothing inspiring about nondisabled ppl's pushy ignorance.
