if I’m being honest, this year’s been off to a really rocky start - major depression episodes, anxiety through the roof about everything, genuine loneliness, at times it really does feel that the world is just always out to get me (1/)

more than any other year, these first few weeks have been absolutely horrid on my mental state and whatever sanity I have left - the atmosphere here just urges social interaction and joy, but my comfortability doesn’t extend that far (2/)

I’ve been trying my hardest to stay positive, connect with the friends I’ve made, but it seems that I continue to be my own worst enemy in everything I do - 3 years in...and what do I really have to show? I just just feel defeated at points, like I’m not doing enough (3/)

obviously this is just another one of “Ethan’s anxious moments”, but it’s better than letting it resonate inside and fester negative emotions perpetually - one of the biggest things I’m working towards is being comfortable with myself, and I think that’ll extend into my work (4/)

although, the feeling of needing to compare myself to others in terms of success still bugs me.

fighting my own mind continues to be my hardest battle, high school into college, it’s been an ongoing challenge.

end of thread.

tldr: school is a lot, being alone really sucks more than I expected, need to start using my time here more efficiently - what do I want? what will make me better?