Bc of all the hubbub about ACB, “Adoption" is being thrown around a lot, in various contexts. I understand most people who express desire to adopt mean well, but I just want to make sure you know for those of us who are adopted, some of these intentions can be damaging...(Thread)

Adoptees are not puppies to be picked up from the local shelter so that you can feel like a Good Samaritan for giving a poor baby or kid a home. Being ripped from our mother’s arms, never being held by her, or nursed by her, causes what is called the "Primal Wound," & no matter

How amazing or phenomenal our adoptive parents are/were when they raised us, that wound never goes away; especially if it’s never addressed at all (as was my case). So please, if you are going to adopt a baby, don’t do it as a way to show your open-mindedness or big-heartedness.

Go into it knowing that your new baby or child has real trauma they likely don’t even know how to articulate. Help them to understand and work through these wounds when they are ready, & on your part, recognize the signs that may be them expressing this woundedness.

You’re not doing us a favor by giving us a home, and we should never have to express or feel gratitude for that, or be made to feel bad when we ask questions about where we came from or feel sad that we weren’t raised by the family who gave birth to us. It’s hard & complex,

Messy, sad, wonderful, weird & everything in between. It’s never black and white or cut and dry. Of course choosing life and having adoption as an option in the most dire circumstances is a WONDERFUL thing. I am grateful for my parents every day bc they are great people.

But there’s still trauma, despite my having the BEST possible raising, bc I’m not a puppy who needed a home. I’m a person who’s soul was wounded by a mother who was supposed to keep me at all costs, who decided she couldn’t, & that is painful. #adoption #chooselife #thinkfirst