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15x09 and the prayer scene was one of the most important scenes for dean and castiel’s character development—both as a couple and as individuals—.
a thread.
a thread.
first of all, when they’re walking with the leviathan, cas tells dean “i already apologized to you. you just refuse to hear it”.
that meaning cas is not going to beg for forgiveness. he’s not going to fall so low for other people, he’s not going to let dean—or anyone—drag him +
that meaning cas is not going to beg for forgiveness. he’s not going to fall so low for other people, he’s not going to let dean—or anyone—drag him +
anymore. he’s done with saying sorry and he knows dean is in denial.
to that, dean replies “maybe if you didn’t just up and leave us”, clearly showing he’s upset about cas leaving, because after all, he didn’t want him to leave and he is sorry about what he said to him. +
to that, dean replies “maybe if you didn’t just up and leave us”, clearly showing he’s upset about cas leaving, because after all, he didn’t want him to leave and he is sorry about what he said to him. +
basically, dean is expressing his emotions through anger (we’ll dive deeper into that later).
“you didn't give me a choice. you couldn't forgive me, and you couldn't move on. you were too angry.” once again, castiel is telling dean he is not going to get down on his knees to +
“you didn't give me a choice. you couldn't forgive me, and you couldn't move on. you were too angry.” once again, castiel is telling dean he is not going to get down on his knees to +
ask for forgiveness, he’s already been there and he won’t go through that again. but also, he is actually telling dean that his anger is what’s not letting him move on. dean says nothing, probably realizing that he has to let go of that anger if he wants to be okay +
both with himself and cas.
so, okay, we have castiel acknowledging his own worth for once in the show. and then, we have dean realizing how much all that anger can hurt him and the ones he loves.
so, both of them taking small steps to be better with themselves and eachother.
so, okay, we have castiel acknowledging his own worth for once in the show. and then, we have dean realizing how much all that anger can hurt him and the ones he loves.
so, both of them taking small steps to be better with themselves and eachother.
okay so skip to the actual prayer scene. i think all of us know it by heart so i’m not gonna quote it.
basically, dean starts admitting he didn’t want cas to leave him—not back in the bunker, not in purgatory, not in his entire life—, which he already expressed earlier +
basically, dean starts admitting he didn’t want cas to leave him—not back in the bunker, not in purgatory, not in his entire life—, which he already expressed earlier +
when he complained about cas leaving. but this time, instead of talking out of anger, he is being honest (i mean, the difference between “maybe if you didn’t up and leave us” and “i should’ve stopped you. you’re my best friend and i just let you go” speaks for itself) +
then, he proceeds to say “i don’t know why i get so angry”, probably one of the most important things dean’s ever said, admitting he has anger issues and that they’ve always been there (of course, because of john). dean also says he doesn’t know how to stop the anger +
and by saying that, he’s probably asking for help. it’s a way of saying “i don’t know how to do this on my own, and i need help with it”, although he’s not necessarily asking castiel for help specifically. but he trusts the angel enough to admit he doesn’t know how to manage +
his own emotions.
so yes, dean winchester, the person who thinks that he doesn’t deserve to be saved, and believes he’s the one who has to save everyone, is admitting he has a problem that he doesn’t know how to handle on his own. +
so yes, dean winchester, the person who thinks that he doesn’t deserve to be saved, and believes he’s the one who has to save everyone, is admitting he has a problem that he doesn’t know how to handle on his own. +
he’s opening up and he’s not doing it through anger. he’s showing his feelings to his best friend, hoping he can hear him, while kneeling down next to a tree and crying his heart out.
beautiful, just beautiful.
(also jensen’s acting here is god tier. absolutely amazing).
beautiful, just beautiful.
(also jensen’s acting here is god tier. absolutely amazing).
okay skip again to when they reunite in purgatory.
they hug, dean sighing with relief, and then castiel smiles and says “you made it”.
clearly, he’s not only relieved, but he’s also proud of dean. he’s literally praising him, something that dean is, sadly, not used to. +
they hug, dean sighing with relief, and then castiel smiles and says “you made it”.
clearly, he’s not only relieved, but he’s also proud of dean. he’s literally praising him, something that dean is, sadly, not used to. +
istg i hate john winchester for making dean being so starved of affection and praise.
anyways, after cas explaining what happened, dean goes “you did it. you did it, cas.” another praise. dean acknowledging cas has done the job, and that he did it right. +
anyways, after cas explaining what happened, dean goes “you did it. you did it, cas.” another praise. dean acknowledging cas has done the job, and that he did it right. +
maybe that was something cas needed to hear after being told he always screws up their plans. maybe dean knew that cas needed to hear that. maybe he’s trying to say “you dondon’t always screw up, i’m sorry i said that. you do things right indeed.”
IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. +
IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. +
okay i think i don’t have to mention how marvelous it is that dean was willing to say all of the prayer again just to make sure cas knew how he was feeling. i mean, dean showing his emotions once and willing to do it twice???? wow.
and finally, if we skip to the final scene where sam is explaining dean why he lost face, and why he didn’t follow the initial plan after that.
in other circumstances, dean would’ve yelled at sam, telling him how that was the only chance they had to defeat chuck and how +
in other circumstances, dean would’ve yelled at sam, telling him how that was the only chance they had to defeat chuck and how +
they have nothing now because of him. but instead, he looks at cas, maybe remembering everything that happened in purgatory. knowing now that anger leads him nowhere, that it’d just hurt him, and it wouldn’t let him move on.
and then, he says “well, that’s good enough for me”
and then, he says “well, that’s good enough for me”
so idk if y’all understand but this chapter really gave us A LOT, and i just think it’s really beautiful how dean and cas trust eachother, and how they are able to grow together.
end of thread
hope you liked it!!
end of thread
hope you liked it!!
