So I guess I will do a thread about what I know in regard to the fact that I was adopted and that I only met my biological mother in 1998 and until I met her I didn't know what blood runs through my veins. I only have " proof" of her blood. /1

When I first met her it was at a red lobster in Colorado with my daughter and my boyfriend and my biological aunt was with my biological mother.
It was 1998 that I got confirmation of what I always knew to be true as a child but was beat by adoptive parents whenever I asked. /2

The woman I was drawn to was at first glance either a native American Woman or a Hispanic woman. I knew she was too young to be my actual mother but she looked more like me. Turns out she has SIOUX blood and she's Hispanic too. She's a distant cousin referred to as aunt./3

The other Woman I knew was my mother but she didn't look anything like me. She was as white as the people that adopted me. Although I saw pictures of her in her younger years because of her age and health issues she was lighter than she probably would have been./4

So my black boyfriend my brown daughter and my brown self and my biological Brown cousin are all sitting at a table with a white woman to find out who I am. When I was in kindergarten I told people I was a Sioux Indian. The white family that adopted me beat me so bad for that./5

I knew I didn't look like anybody else. I had no way to even come up with such an idea to say that I was a Sioux Indian. I was told I was a German and Pennsylvania Dutch. ( Whatever that is) still no explanation for why I was so much darker than anybody else./6

So my biological mother and my aunt explain to me that my great grandmother was SIOUX Indian and left the tribe for a white man. (My instinct was right in kindergarten.) Then things took a different turn. I evidently had an older sister and a younger sister./7

My mother was married and had my older sister. Eventually she divorced my older sister's father and remarried. The man she married wasn't able to have kids. So we know he was not my father. Plus she would have had to have me at 12 months pregnant. I was a few weeks early./8

Then my aunt and my mom proceeded to tell me and my boyfriend and my child a story about a black man that came to this little town in Nebraska for a job. Either my mom or my aunt was going to have him. My mom had a one night stand with this man. /9

My mother didn't know that he was leaving town the next day and she would never be able to find out his name or anything else. I was born in 1965 so can you imagine a married woman pregnant under all these circumstances? She got a divorce and chose to have me./10

My mother knew that my father was this black man. My mother had the plan that when I was born my aunt was going to become my mother and raise me as her own. However when I was born something different happened. The hospital sold me away to Nebraska children's Home./11

Remember I found all this out in 1998.
My mother remarried her first husband and had another child which would be my younger sister. Only the people that were sitting at that table at red lobster know that my father is a black man. He is literally the only one that could be./12

I never had the opportunity to ask my mother if he was light or dark. I never had the opportunity to ask very much about anything because even my sisters didn't know this and still don't. Due to the relocation after DV. I couldn't talk to them ever again./13

Unfortunately I will never have the opportunity to ask any more questions. At the beginning of September I ran across a article and found out that my mother died in December of 2019.
My mother and my aunt had no reason to lie to me. They did have reasons to protect my sisters.

I was paid for by a racist old couple specifically for their son. The older I got the darker I got and the worse things got for me. They tried everything they could to keep my skin as light as possible. I have great genes so that didn't work at all.

My entire life I have been abused physically sexually in every way possible. For reasons I will never know. I knew who I was when I was a child and that fighting spirit is in my blood and it still is and I have never given up. And fuck that bitch that adopted me I was right.

I was abused so bad in a white only huge County and thought and fought to get away. I had no black or brown role models. It was just running through my veins. I know that my blood saved me from the racists that intentionally adopted me and abused me.

I know that what my biological mother told me is the truth because anybody with a drop of SIOUX blood is a born fighter and that my father was a black man is just a bonus to the fight that's in my blood. I'm sorry if I'm not Black enough for some people or native enough.

I survived something that no one should ever have to survive. I'm black enough and native enough for me. I'm grateful to my ancestors for giving me the blood they gave me the strength to continue to fight and not die at the hands of the white supremacist that adopted & abused me.

I know things have changed since 1965 but I'm sure still people in Nebraska are adopting children not knowing what their blood is. And when you're born you're not black the second you come out you darken with age. Sometimes I feel ashamed because I have a white mom.

I only feel ashamed because of the Twitter trolls that use a color wheel to decide who's black and who Isn't. I have absolutely no way to prove that my father is black or that my great grandmother is a Sioux Indian. I don't owe anyone anything.

I just know this. When you have native blood and black blood running through your veins you can literally feel your ancestors. That's not a figment of my imagination. I know I would not be alive today if not for that blood running through my veins. I'm done with my rant.