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I recently changed my profile picture sa Facebook and honestly before doing so I felt kinda anxious with the thought "lah ilan kaya reacts neto" in my mind.
It sounds petty, I know. Pero probably am not the only one who thinks of how many engagements a certain post can have lalo na kung it has something to do with how we look like our selfies ganun.
This has been my toxic mindset na receiving many appreciations through reacts and good comments equates to how beautiful you are. Kapag maraming reacts meaning nun I really looked good.
And I'll be honest, kapag maraming reacts sa photo ko and maraming nagsasabing I looked really good at it, I get to have the confidence to really say that I'm beautiful. Sabi nila maganda ako eh edi maganda ako.
But of course kapag below my expectation yung engagements, I feel the other way around and sadly, that's when I get to feel bad about myself. "I'm not beautiful at all."
Sounds petty, I know. But wala eh, that seems normal for me from then up to the moment I changed my recent profile picture. I always get to think that I'm not as pretty as I hoped to be and that has been something I've kept on feeding my mind. I'm not that pretty.
But through my recent self evaluation, I then realized na I was being too toxic. I've kept on poisoning my mind with lies and insecurities and yes, based on earthly standards on beauty, how I look would not even hit the bar of "okay."
That's unhealthy and that kept me from enjoying the things that I have now. How sad to see myself wanting to be appreciated while even I can't appreciate myself. Edi papaano na?
So ayun, yung recent na pagpalit ko ng photo was a game changer. Engagements weren't as much as I've expected but guess what, I felt so much more of myself the moment I changed it. I loved my look sa photo, maganda ako and that thought didn't changed after posting.
I believe this was an improvement pagdating sa self appreciation and yes, by the word itself, we have to first learn to appreciate ourselves. Kasi there will always be moments in our lives na feeling natin we're not worth the appreciation.
Insecurities, I have a lot of them. Imperfect, that's what I am. But yes, having to be that doesn't mean I'm no good at all and besides my flaws make up who I am.
I posted this thread not to brag or pity myself but simply to remind you and me about how important it is to appreciate ourselves. It's important and we can never learn to appreciate others kung maski tayo 'di marunong mag appreciate ng sarili natin.
Hey you.
You're beautiful and I appreciate you!
You're beautiful and I appreciate you!
