re the controversy around @AOC canceling her participation in Rabin Memorial I want to share my personal journey that helps underscore my disappointment with her decision. In 1990, at the height of 2nd Intifada, I was drafted to an elite combat unit raising to rank of lieutenant

As a young officer, I commanded many raids on PLO targets (mostly Tanzim military wing), several of which ended in causalities. I followed orders that were designed to crush the Palestinian resistance and deepen the military occupation. I have blood on my hands.

I am not proud of my actions, and I have many sleepless nights. I have nightmares to this day. Rabin’s 1994 “reversal” changed my life. Negotiating the PLO, Rabin made both a moral and political case for ending the military occupation, and supporting Palestinian statehood.

He broadened the peace movement and was murdered for his courageous stance. Rabin had a profound impact on many ex-combatants. As a fellow officer, he helped me understand that the military occupation is immoral and unjust, and that there is no such thing as a benign occupation.

In 2002, I helped form a movement of ex-combatants refusing to serve in the occupied territories. When I was called to serve in Gaza I refused the order. I faced a court martial, demoted, & thrown out of my unit. Many of my comrades shunned me and they still do to this day.

Thousands joined us and many were imprisoned, including my brother. We paid a cost, but it was a price worth paying. More about our movement in this documentary http://icarusfilms.com/if-obj  &

Our movement was not long-lived but it was impactful. Dov Weissglas, Sharon’s senior advisor mentioned our refusal movement as central to Sharon’s decision to withdraw from Gaza in 2003. See http://www.jmcc.org/Documentsandmaps.aspx?id=698

Back to @AOC - should Palestinians boycott me and other ex-combatants in “Courage to refuse” and “Breaking the Silence” for having blood on our hand, or should they view us as partners for achieving a joint goal of Palestinian independence?

Should we be reduced to our military service or post-military activism? If the Israeli peace camp ( @peacenowisrael) is to be boycotted, who exactly do Palestinians want to join forces with to end the occupation? Netanyahu?

Palestinians have a right, in fact duty, to point to Rabin's transgressions and bloody past. I am embarrassed by the actions we took to maintain the occupation. But we need to contextualize history. Rabin's legacy is indeed complex.

He led a movement for change, bringing people like myself into the peace tent. I have no doubt Palestinians would have had a state had he not been murdered. @AOC can support the small Israeli peace camp while acknowledging our previous failures. Boycotting the event saddens me.