Havertz;
As the second most-expensive signing in Chelsea's history, This dynamic deutschman made his debut in 750,000 fantasy teams with a huge 2-pointer. Without a single shot in the league over two games, his managers would be pleased to hear that he's averaging 0.5 key . . .

. . .passes per 90 to the linesmen. After terrorising the mighty Barnsley with a hatrick in the league cup, his owners would be hoping for a bountiful harvest against the worst team in the league.

Vinagre;
Once touted as the best 4.5m defender in the entire game.

600,000 managers saw this cheap route into the Wolves defence and were swiftly rewarded with a Gameweek 1 benching, and a Gameweek 2 one-pointer where he blocked his managers from getting potential Mitchell points. With other 4.5 defenders returning points, it's safe to say. . .

. . .that Vinegar has left most of his managers feeling salty.

McCarthy;
With two points in his first two games, this popular pick is a classic example of peer pressure and hivemind mentality. There were no reasonable stats backing up this pick whatsoever. We feel someone just said 'Hey, lets pick that Mccarthy dude', and 1.4 million . . .

. . .unfortunate managers decided to join in. He was on the receiving end of a 5-2 thrashing by a Spurs side who literally scored the same exact goal 4 times. This is the result when Southampton play a defensive line like they're Bayern Munich but have the defense / midfield ...

. . .of Luton Town

Che Adams;
If you own Adams instead of Ings, you need to confess to yourself that you're a cheapskate who loves cheap things. He decided to reward his owners with the Che Deluxe Treatment; which includes muitple big chances missed, a yellow card,

consecutive blanks, and a price drop. We're fully convinced that Che Adams is going to pass the eye test 10 games in a row but never actually score. Will Adams be able to redeem himself in the Garden of Turf Moor or would he be banished from our teams forever?

Saint-Maximin;
"Here goes Saint-Maximin, trying to make things happen for Newcastle. And he runs into a defender." This piece of commentary is probably ingrained into the minds of his 1.3 million owners. Seen as the best budget midfield option prior to Gameweek 1, his owners

started to contemplate their decisions after the first game. Some managers said a 3 pointer from him would be considered a haul in gameweek 2, and he disappointed them once more with a huge 1-pointer, a price drop and an ankle injury.

our spurs boys are on their way

Alli;
With his newly-cut 90s pornstar moustache, Dele Alli went into this season owned my 200k managers, most notably Magnus Carlsen. Many of his managers picked him solely because of the Tottenham All-or-Nothing documentary, and they were rewarded with...exactly nothing.

Subbed at HT in the first Gameweek and left out of the squad in the second one, he has suffered three price drops and might just be on his way back to MK Dons.

Doherty;
Bamboozled by the famous "2nd Season Mourinho" narrative, a lot of managers flocked to our Irish Cafu

after an electric 2019/2020 season. In two starts, he has caused a penalty, received a yellow card, and amassed a heavy 2 points for his 1.5 million owners

Ayling;
A white man in a white kit with a man-bun hairstyle, It can only be a Leeds player. Heralded as an ultra-attacking fullback in the Bielsa system, this asset has failed to register a goal or assist and has shipped in 7 goals in 2 games; giving his owners a 1 point tally

across both games.

Egan ;
Owned by 1 million ill-fated managers, John Egan is currently averaging -1 point per game. That speaks for itself.

_Written and Edited by Mide Egbeyemi_

_Distributed by Great Anwaegbu_