Thread by @internet_threat, TL sleep? Y’all wanna hear a Tinder meet up story? Ok boom. [...]

TL sleep? Y’all wanna hear a Tinder meet up story?

Ok boom. I have never in my life met a man off Tinder. The most I’ve done is exchanged numbers and all them niggas be weird so it never go further. Last week was my first time actually linking.

So I match with this dude and he fine af lets start there. AND TALL!! So we matched on a Monday and exchanged numbers whatever whatever. We text back and forth for a couple days.

It’s the usual convo, getting to know each other. Nigga like 6’7, fine like I said, NO KIDS, and he said he’s an international basketball player. (Which was true because I searched his stats

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß">) sound good on paper, right?

So Wednesday comes around, he said he wanted to FTme but I was at work. I told him I’d call him when I get off. We just so happen to finish early this night so I’m tryna hurry up and get done so I can go home and call him.

My supervisor stops me on my way out the door and asks me to stay over and do some dumb ass shit! Like literally never asks me to do shit like this but whatever, I stay and do it so dude end up falling asleep. (It was a sign)

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">

The next day he asks me what time I go to lunch and he would call me then. I told 930 but he heard 9. So at 9 this nigga calls me like 2-3 times back to back. His # wasn’t saved at the time so I answered with my watch and stepped off the floor to answer. And it’s this nigga.

I thought it was somebody w/ an emergency or some shit. But anyway lol. We never end up actually talking otp until thursday when I was off work. The phone KEPT. HANGING. UP. He said he stay in the country so he has no service unless he outside. Somebody ain’t want us talking tho

So on the phone when I could actually hear him, he was explaining that he lived with his sister bc his apartment burned down in January (

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤨" title="Gesicht mit hochgezogener Augenbraue" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit hochgezogener Augenbraue">) to me it was weird cus if you a bball player you should be straight by now but whatever lol. Maybe there’s more to it.

He was telling me that he had an offer to play for a team in South America the next week and if he took it he need me to “hold it down” back here. Nigga what... hold down ya sister crib?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Ausdrucksloses Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Ausdrucksloses Gesicht"> and nigga ion even know you like that Wym

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">

Bruh start going on about how he’s been single for a while because his last girl didn’t want him working, she wanted to be the breadwinner and she was hella insecure, always accusing him of cheating. At the time I thought it was pretty feasible until later on....

So anyway, I’m confused about the hold it down shit and then he asks me if I wanna get breakfast early in the morning. Mind you, I usually go to bed around 7am-9am cus I work O/N. I agree.

The morning comes but I’ve been up all night because that’s just my sleep schedule. And I have to work today at 6pm. He was supposed to on his way at like 6-7am. He calls me at 9am and said his battery kept dying and he had to get a jump and he’s now otw.

So AGAIN, in my head I’m like “why this nigga sound like he in a hoopty if he a bball player) MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. THEN THIS NIGGA SAYS...

“You got clothes in your washer?”

I’m like “... yea?” He like “put em in the washer I need to wash a load”

So now I’m irritated lmfaooooooo. I’m like “dude you asking me or TELLING me?” He like “I’m asking, our washer broke I really need some clean clothes” the humanitarian in me reluctantly agrees cus nigga

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Ausdrucksloses Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Ausdrucksloses Gesicht"> tide pods ain’t cheap. We hang up.

So he calls back like 10 minutes later and like “man I got pulled over...” The cop comes up to the car and he like “Hey man you were going 88 in a 75, you in a rush?”

This man says... “I’m tryna get to DCH my girlfriend is having a baby” I’m on the other end of the phone like

So while the cop running his shit he like “man I think I got a warrant in Bessemer for a ticket from last year.” I’m texting my best friend giving her the run down.

The cop come back...
“You’re driving while suspended, your registration is expired, insurance expired 2 days ago, and you have a bench warrant in Bessemer...”

The cop like “but ima let you go and get to your family. Drive safe man”
AND HE LETS HIM GO!!!!! A STATE TROOPER AT THAT. It’s like 10am WAY past my bedtime so I’m hot cus I know I’m not finna get no sleep fr.

His car Damn near dont wanna start back up. He like “I really need to get to a mechanic do you know a dude?” I do know a dude lol. I really wish I hadn’t dropped the pin so early because I could’ve easily ghosted dude but yk what

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen"> whatever.

I hit up the mechanic but he not at the shop yet.I really wanted to divert him to just meet me at the shop but he calls again and says he thinks he’s here. He pulls into my place and there’s only my car and this broke down Explorer. He like “Oh ok you got a nice truck”

I’m like “uhhhh nah. The black car is mine” “he like oooohhh ok you riding clean I see you” very miniscule point but why did you automatically think that bucket was mine? Lmao. I just thought that was weird but anywho.

This nigga pulls up in a grand marquise, the mf squeaking, trunk closed with them lil bungee cord things, just a hot mess and I’m trying my hardest not to judge but THE MAFFS AINT MAFFIN. where them bball checks!?

So anyway. Remember my dumbass told him I’d let him wash his clothes

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Ausdrucksloses Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Ausdrucksloses Gesicht"> so I gotta let him in the house. He got a whole damn duffle bag. I have a 8m old pit and bruh acting like he scared of my damn dog.I show him to the laundry room. He go in the laundry room and close the door

I’m like... ok. But he in there for like a WHILE and I don’t hear the damn washer start up. My washer dumb ass hell so I figure he just ain’t know how to start it. I open the door and he’s taking off the clothes he has on *sigh* I reach past him and cut the washer on and sit down

This a long ass story y’all I’m sorry lmfao. But anyway im on the couch with my blanket and he like “don’t be hogging all the covers” and tries to lay on me. I’m like “HOL ON A MINUTE PLAYA!!!” The fuck you think this is lmfaooooooooooooooooo

So now he sitting on the couch all weird. Not really talking, I can tell he can tell I’m irritated because I TF AM. but at the same time this ain’t the same man from the phone lol. Giving me very much beta male.

I’m texting my friend, he literally looking in my phone. Im a dumbass for letting this nigga in my house. Anyway, mechanic finally hits me back and say he at the shop. I tell him to follow me up the street.

We get to the shop and I park nshit before he does. So I walk to up to mechanic dude I’m like “bruh please fix this nigga shit so he can GOOOO” he so confused lmao. Dude need a whole alternator and some type of belt. Mechanic like “take ya boy to Oreilys”

Now this nigga tryna call me bad in from of mechanic dude and his assistant and I’m cringing so hard but I don’t even wanna cause a scene I just head to the car. We pull up at oreilys and he like “dang, you got a mask in here” I’m like “...no”. Y’all ain’t gone believe this shit

He reach on the side of the seat...

And find a black cloth mask....

I’m like (man I know this nigga not finna....)

I’m tryna stop him like “that’s not mine idk who mask that is” CUS IT REALLY WAS NOT MINE. He like “it’s cool it’s only for a second...”

bruh shake the mask off... it’s crumbs and French fries and glitter and DOG HAIR nshit flying off it (ima woman my car always need vacuumed)...

And he puts the mask on...

Yall I’m so over it at this point lmfaooooo like c’mon bruh. You really just gone put this stray mask on IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC!?!?!?!?!? I’m this point im looking around for Ashton Kutcher because this can not be happening to me right now.

But it was in fact not a prank... he come back out the store and as if this day couldn’t get any worse. He says his card decline for the parts....

I’m like “damn bruh what you finna do” (do y’all hear sumn cus I don’t)
He tryna explain that he got the wrong debit card and he’d cash app me back when we got back to the house. No. FUCK no.

I’m like “nah I ain’t got $400 on my card” he like “damn ok” and go back in the store. Idk what the fuck he did but he came back out with his parts. Maybe he put something back. We head back to the shop.

I’m literally in the waiting room sleep cus it’s bout 12 at this point. I had been up since 5pm the day before. He like “you can just go back to the house and I’ll meet you back there” smh

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏽‍♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)">

I go home & text him “I’m going to bed but ur welcome to the living room while ur clothes dry” I lock my BR door and don’t wake up until it’s time to get ready for work. I was scared he was still in my house lowkey lmfao so I look & see if his hoopty gone and it is.

I check my phone and he had called me like 4 times

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏽‍♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)"> I texted and asked him if he had made it home just cus I was paranoid the nigga was still in town

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen"> he said he made it home and off course I turn on ghost mode. But the next day he calls me THREE TIMES. So I text him back.

I check my phone and he had called me like 4 times https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

I texted and asked him if he had made it home just cus I was paranoid the nigga was still in town https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen"> he said he made it home and off course I turn on ghost mode. But the next day he calls me THREE TIMES. So I text him back." title="I check my phone and he had called me like 4 times https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏽‍♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)"> I texted and asked him if he had made it home just cus I was paranoid the nigga was still in town https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen"> he said he made it home and off course I turn on ghost mode. But the next day he calls me THREE TIMES. So I text him back.">

Never did I agree to be with that mf man

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen"> he hasn’t tried to contact my since thank god. But moral of the story.... Idek the moral lmfaooooooooooo. I just know not to ever fw that app again.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">

And it wasn’t necessarily about his situation it’s just like don’t lie bruh. Lol. Like everything comes to the light so don’t be tryna sugarcoat shit cus it’s gone be worse that way. Now I know he feelings emabarrsed and rejected but listen.... Niggas needa stop lying.

LMFAOOO. DRAGGG MEEE. But honestly yes it was so fucking dumb of me to let that nigga in

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏽‍♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)"> I’m thoroughly embarrassed but this shit was too funny not to share

LMFAOOO. DRAGGG MEEE. But honestly yes it was so fucking dumb of me to let that nigga in https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

I’m thoroughly embarrassed but this shit was too funny not to share" title="LMFAOOO. DRAGGG MEEE. But honestly yes it was so fucking dumb of me to let that nigga in https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏽‍♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (mittlerer Hautton)"> I’m thoroughly embarrassed but this shit was too funny not to share" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

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