Thread by @agatscma, ,, do you think kanao wrote letters to kanae after the funeral? [...]

agatscma

,, do you think kanao wrote letters to kanae after the funeral? she remembers her smile, how she told her that when she was alone, all she had to do was to flip the coin to make a decision, while their other sister looked on,

and she doesnt know what to say, or feel, so she

so she starts out by writing letters. theyre simple, right? simple enough for a child like her to get,

it starts out as little things. this is what shinobu fed me for breakfast. i miss her smile like you said you loved.

there are other girls here now, one is my age,

and shes nice to me. she helps me train. her name is aoi.

today was hard, is that the word? i couldnt get your hairpin in earlier and i think i might have cried if i knew how to. i miss you. i miss you helping me with my hair. shinobus hands are rough and calloused.

today someone told me that we could get reincarnated and have second chances at lives. do you believe that? should i believe that, master? is it right? is any of what i feel or think right? i wish you could come home to us.

today shinobu took me in as her tsuguko. the others congratulated me when the announcement was made, and i smiled because you said you loved our smiles. you never wanted them to falter. you were fighting for a better world for us, for everyone, even demons. but for some reason

my heart weighed heavily, and i couldnt help thinking that there was a gaping emptiness shaped like you in it. would you be proud of me today? should i be proud of myself? i dont know. im not taking her breath style, im taking yours. i think this is what you would have wanted.

today, i met a boy. his eyes are kind like yours. when he held my hand, he was careful not to hurt me. when he trained with me, he was considerate, even though its unneccesary. he told me the heart is what drives people. he told me the voice of mine would only grow bigger. i dont

know if i should believe him. he didnt cheat or play any tricks when i lent him my coin, but i cant help wondering if hes going to leave this world too, like you did. i hope he doesnt. he smiled at me and his face was like the sun. you would have liked him, i think.

the letters stop for a while, she cant bring herself to write anymore. whats the point, its not like she was going to answer.

and kanao writes one last one to her, under the blooms she loved so much. she sees the eyes of kanae in the cherry blossoms and shinobus in the wisteria.

she closes her eyes and when she opens them, her hands are shaking.

you taught me how to live. you taught me how to love and feel. by being the kind person you were, you saved me and many others. it was all worth it.

im sorry i couldnt protect you. im sorry i let shinobu go.

im sorry. im sorry. im sorry.

we won. its finally over. i am home, and i hope you and shinobu are, too. i am made of memories—the memories we made, the memories without you, the memories that i will carry with you in my heart.

she hesitates for a moment.

i love you. i hope the next life is peaceful for us all.

she finally understands why people shed tears in the next moments—it comes all at once, in flashes: kanae leaning down to tell her it was nice to meet her. shinobu grabbing her hand and running.

the flip of a coin she knew all too well, over and over and over again, until she finally lets herself breathe again.

you did good, she remembers they told her.

you did good.

i did good.

i am okay.

and i always will be. if not here then in the next life.

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