Companionship in marriage is really underrated. You marry your friend & it's shared responsibilities. The issue of who to cook, wash etc isn't intrinsically a woman's job talk less of it being the wife's job.

We all have our favorite chores & differing schedule so we work it out

If you want to ensure your clothes are always washed, you may consider getting a washing machine or hiring a laundry personnel. It's not a taboo.

If you want to eat hot, freshly cooked meals you may consider hiring a cook, or reach a compromise by getting a microwave oven.

This isn't to say that the wife can't do that but you have to be considerate in doing these things.

The fact that the society says the woman is the homemaker & the man is the provider is good but it's not written in stone.

Let me explain the last statement.
That might have...

...been true in the prehistoric era but it's no longer exactly true. Both partners are as busy at work as any other person unlike when the men hunt for food & the woman stays at home.

These were expected responsibilities then but they don't necessarily apply now.

So, if we are both busy at work, we go through the same or similar stress & probably put our finances together in making the home then the chores should be our responsibilities too.

And in tackling responsibilities there's what's called delegation such that you don't have...

...to be the one doing the job but you're still responsible for it. It's a case of leadership & there's no big deal to it.

Your family is your family & you don't import rules from the society to run your institution.

Remember that both partners in marriage are pioneers

Pioneering a new family. So homebuilding isn't the responsibility of the wife alone but the couple. In fact, if the man is said to be the leader of the family then the responsibility for a successful family lies on the man.

Everything rises & falls on leadership

The buck stops at the leader's feet.

I don't believe in the "traditional marriage" system & I'll explain. The father is the head of the family, right? That is the ideal & applies in a case where the man is assuming his responsibility as a leader.

What the man needs to be is...

...an effective leader. Unfortunately, leadership in Africa has been woeful so the dearth of leadership models for the man is the issue.

For instance, I don't believe the wife should be forced to do anything. You reach a compromise together & come to a conclusion

When I hear issues like: "I want to eat freshly made food everytime" from the man, I laugh because it's a demand that shouldn't rest solely on your wife. You, the man has to make the demand happen & you'll be selfish to not do that. Even if she's a 'housewife' & I wonder..

..what that term is really, it's not a justification to finish her with unreasonable demands.

House chores is too much for only one person to execute & I say that with my full chest. Let's look at it; cooking, washing plates, laundry, house cleaning, repairs etc EVERYDAY

Very monotonous work. The ample fact that house chores are never complete, never ever! There's always something to do & it's conclusion is subjective. It's not a healthy thing to do. We must all be responsible at home whether the man or the woman & it includes chores.

Add to the work, babycare & that's too much overload already. If your wife is laden with all of this work as a man, you're a murderer. You couldn't care less and you're a 'houseband' not a husband.

Husband is derived from husbandry & it involves nurturing your wife.

You don't nurture a person by killing them with work.

Some men are even worse off. Your wife does all the chores, takes care of the children, not one child & still works. That is not a strong woman rather it's a "labored woman". If your wife is in that category you need cane.

Taking Carr of a child alone is more than enough work. It's not even what one person should do. Don't be an S.A.M. father, Silent, Absent & Missing.

Be involved... You're not a slave master. We call you a husband, common!

The woman is expected to; carry the baby for 9 months, give birth to the baby - which is the second most painful thing in the world after a first degree burn & some husbands will still be absent there sef, take care of herself - post natal care, take care of the baby,...

...take care of the house, go to work & still assist financially

If that lady dies, you should be arrested for crimes against humanity and No! Hitler's got nothing on you because he was a terrorist by profession. You're disguised as a husband

Will conclude this thread later

Good morning to every woman out there and proper husbands too.

The others can go and collect theirs from undertaker

#LeadershipAtHome
#ResponsibleMen
#AfricanMarriages
#Relationships