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I want to tell a story about this. Two years ago, my younger brother died. He didn't think of himself as Jewish. He was raised even less connected to Judaism than I was. Apparently, though I didn't know this, he had started going to Lutheran services sometimes before he died. https://twitter.com/JustSayXtian/status/1309609842026274816
His funeral was explicitly Lutheran. It was led by a minister. There was a lot of prayer. I lowered my head and sat through it and murmured 'amen' when appropriate. Because that's the funeral I was at, and that was the respectful way to mourn in that situation.
Later, after the funeral, my aunt tapped my shoulder and she and I stepped aside, somewhere quiet, away from the rest of the people mourning and she and I said kaddish together.
It did not occur to me to try to force my mourning rituals into a Lutheran service. No part of me thought that it would have been appropriate or appreciated for me to try to impose my traditions - even for my own family member.
The expectation that you can perform your religion's rituals and observances in public, in any setting, regardless of the traditions of those around you is a huge privilege. The assumption that no one can question whether it's appropriate for you to do so is, frankly, hurtful.
