I want to tell a story about this. Two years ago, my younger brother died. He didn& #39;t think of himself as Jewish. He was raised even less connected to Judaism than I was. Apparently, though I didn& #39;t know this, he had started going to Lutheran services sometimes before he died. https://twitter.com/JustSayXtian/status/1309609842026274816">https://twitter.com/JustSayXt...

His funeral was explicitly Lutheran. It was led by a minister. There was a lot of prayer. I lowered my head and sat through it and murmured & #39;amen& #39; when appropriate. Because that& #39;s the funeral I was at, and that was the respectful way to mourn in that situation.

Later, after the funeral, my aunt tapped my shoulder and she and I stepped aside, somewhere quiet, away from the rest of the people mourning and she and I said kaddish together.

It did not occur to me to try to force my mourning rituals into a Lutheran service. No part of me thought that it would have been appropriate or appreciated for me to try to impose my traditions - even for my own family member.

The expectation that you can perform your religion& #39;s rituals and observances in public, in any setting, regardless of the traditions of those around you is a huge privilege. The assumption that no one can question whether it& #39;s appropriate for you to do so is, frankly, hurtful.