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what skinny skinny by @Ashton5SOS means to me: a thread
- tw for the whole thread // ed, food restriction
- tw for the whole thread // ed, food restriction
i've written this so many times over the last two days, and it's never felt right. i know i'm a little late to the party as far as talking about this song, but i needed to do it on my own time when i felt truly ready
i've struggled with anorexia since i was nine, i've spent ten years of my life fighting with this disorder. it breaks my heart remembering those early days of first hiding my body and trying to 'fix' what i thought was wrong with it
my junior year of high school (16-17) was by far the hardest year of my life. i was deteriorating every day, losing more and more of myself with every pound i lost. my music suffered, my grades suffered, and i lost all of my friends aside from a couple who could still stand me
as dramatic as it sounds, i would've lost my life if i hadn't gotten things back under control after that year. physically recovering was probably the hardest thing i've ever done, but i never mentally changed how i view food, so it's been an ongoing battle even today
the shame that comes with eds is something i feel needs to be talked about more. i've stopped myself from sharing this because i still feel like i'm not 'sick enough' or that i never was. someone always has it worse, so what gives me the right to find meaning in this song?
that's all wrong though. i don't have to be where i was when i was 17 to still be sick, to still be relapsing and struggling. skinny skinny has become an enduring reminder that i'm not alone, and i'm far from the only person to have to fight these battles
i'm going to close this out by saying thank you to @Ashton5SOS for everything he's done over the years. his wise words, strength, and willingness to share his struggles with us has helped me more than i'll ever be able to express in a couple tweets
i know i'm still here today as a testament of my own strength, i don't think i could've done without having someone like ashton to look up to as i grew up into the person i am now. so thanks again ashton for showing me what true strength is, and for being a light in the dark
your willingness to be so raw and honest in your art and music helps so many people, myself included. for years you've been my hope, you've been what keeps me going. words won't ever be able to describe my thanks to you.
i cannot wait to hear what the rest of superbloom has to offer, i know it will go down in history as something incredible.
if you've read this far, thank you. i cherish the friendships i've made here so much and i can't thank my friends enough for being so incredible <3
if you've read this far, thank you. i cherish the friendships i've made here so much and i can't thank my friends enough for being so incredible <3
end of thread. stream skinny skinny by @Ashton5SOS and listen to superbloom out october 23rd <3
