I move in slow motion in social interactions because not only does it take me a long time to come up with something I want to say, there's also a lot that's off the table that differs vastly depending on who you're talking to, making that search for what to say infinitely longer.

This is also one of the reasons there are so many topics I'm still ignorant about despite wanting to learn, because the act of engaging in an exchange within some subjects appears to require a prerequisite amount of knowledge on the subject, or a specific tone.

I don't like to be insincere, but at the same time, I can't just guess what it is I'm supposed to say or how I'm supposed to say it in order to "unlock" the opportunity to learn more about a particular topic and people's perspectives on it.

My issues with focus and my anxiety of having to weed out "imposters" within large number of things makes it extremely hard for me to do research, but the alternative to research, talking to other people, comes with its own host of barriers.

I suppose the point of this thread is to express that I wish I wasn't so ignorant in so many topics and was able to say the right things to support people who clearly need it, but it feels like none of the avenues I might have to escape ignorance are out of reach, and that sucks.