*THREAD* Playing to WIN vs Playing to NOT lose

You risk being offensive
When you play life on offense

Defensive living is playing to NOT lose

You won't make a move
You aren't trying to score

All your effort goes into NOT getting scored on

Avoiding rejections & failures

Defensive players must realize

- Implied No's
- Soft No's
- Hard No's

All yield the same result
..which is no result

Implied No's (Rejecting Ourselves)

- If you assume they won't buy
You don't ask for the sale

- If you assume she doesn't like you
You don't ask her out

The result is no result

But it is YOU who rejected yourself

Playing to NOT lose instead of ASKING & playing to win

Soft No's

- You ask for the sale
You get a 'maybe' or no reply

- You ask her on a date
You get a 'maybe' or no reply

In these situations we so often ASSUME it's over & don't follow up

Attraction, Sales, Conversions

Is more so a volume knob
(cold, warm, warmer, cold, warm) it fluctuates

Not a light switch (like/don't like)

^ unless you're barking up the wrong tree & not socially calibrated

Ex - trying to sell a car to someone who needs a toaster

The amount of times people have had to message me 6+ times

To get me to sign up for something, close me on something, get me to do something, is fairly often

I don't find them annoying

I genuinely am just a busy person and sometimes need a 'push' & follow ups

Successful & Confident people

NEVER VIEW THEMSELVES AS BEING ANNOYING

- If you bring a lot to the table
- You have good intentions
- You have a good offer, plan, idea

Following up is confidence not neediness

Persistence cracks resistance

...finally the thing defensive players FEAR MOST

Hard No's

- You ask for the sale or date or whatever it is

They either:
Flat out say no (respectfully or disrespectfully)

OR
Many make an excuse

"can't afford it"
"i got this thing coming up"
etc

The amount of romances lost
Sales lost
Opportunities in life MISSED

Because people rejected themselves with assumptions from Implies No's & Soft No's

IS A LOT
and it doesn't need to be

Go for the hard no
"You risk being offensive when you play life on offense"

This is not to be misinterpreted as

Become a pushy person

It's a important reminder to NOT reject yourself

GETTING HARD NO'S IS OK

"Feedback determines strategy not self worth"

Learn & tweak your strategy

Improving your offer & your ability to raise 'buying temperature'

Play to WIN not to NOT lose

It's ok to get hard no's, it's a whole lot better than rejecting yourself

Because then you know...

You are playing on offense not defense

Thank you for reading

Cheers,
- Yous

BONUS NOTE

NEVER CONVINCE

After "no", you don't convince or change minds

Following up & persistence is to either get the sale or get a definite NO

It is NOT to convince people to change their minds

You create invites, but you don't make people walk through the door