Thread by @gatx_negrx, Since its Bisexual month or whatever, some thoughts :) I've become much [...]

Since its Bisexual month or whatever, some thoughts :)

I've become much more comfortable with using Bisexual as a label vs. Queer (both are fine, really) but through the years, I've found language matters, especially for the communities that I am part of.

Thread.

The way I've come to understand bisexuality is one's attraction to their own gender and other genders, breaking away or being more broad than the traditional (and basic) understanding that it is attraction to both genders, mainly because it assumes there are only 2 genders.

When I was younger, and lacked language and understanding (and tbh TIME to understand myself plus safe spaces) I came to know it as my attraction to folk who were masculine or feminine, but eventually transformed into me being attracted to folk of all genders. Thus, for me, queer

But, queer felt in some ways, tense, confusing, and honestly, as if a gate existed. And for me, conflated my sexuality with my gender (performance and embodiment - which is still a journey for me) this is a whole lotta complicated feels and a tale for another time - anyways

Then I come out to my parents. I use the word queer, but I also use bisexual, a word much more accessible and easier for them to understand. This was important for me - because on some level, I wanted to be *seen* by them. The word bi afforded me that in a way that queer did not.

Then comes "community". How I have navigated Queer spaces is interesting, for so many reason (gender, perception, who I date, being a man [insert footnote here] etc.) but I have felt so much kinship to Bi folk, because, on so many levels, they understand the *tension*

or at the very least, understand it more than folk who aren't bi. I've had so many amazing moments of solidarity with bi folk, and it really sometimes be a whole "I see you" or "yup" moment. This isn't shade, it sort of just *is* and honestly, I feel most comfortable with bi folk

Language and community have shaped how I choose to name my sexuality. And both matter tremendously to me, especially language. Some folk aren't in tune with how language evolves, because of the academy, the internet, etc.

Ultimately, I want to be seen. And the word bisexual is how I have found I am the most seen by people I love and who love me and by other folk who share similar journeys when it comes to their sexuality.

Plus. Denim jackets. Best fucking uniform. <3

last thing - the tension usually manifests in how in certain Queer spaces I am seen as an outsider because of my attraction to what is perceived as an "opposite" gender (aka women). Which, is fine (maybe?). but the tension is typically unpacked and...just there? thus, a gate.

And gates can sometimes be fine. But they also can be hurtful in so many ways, and I have sometimes felt out in the open, alone, having less community where I can *figure it out* safely

Luckily, I found community. But it was at times, especially when I was a teen, hard.

For clarity because I got some DMs- my choosing what language to use is dependent on community. Bisexual is understood by communities I am a part of. And - other folk who are bi - see me in ways other do not (this isn’t exclusive - just my lived experience)

Folk who ID as gay/pan/queer etc. Find a tension with me (not always) because of what is perceived to be my partaking in heterosexuality because I date what is thought of the opposite gender to mine (women) - and it’s honestly a tension I engage with people I trust. Thus-a gate

This is a critique but for another day. And people can feel how they feel - I am at peace with them - and tbh have found my community and a partner who see me. So I’m good

Okay I’m done now.

Love me my bisexuals. And our denim jackets.

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