Men want to learn about F/m chastity in relationships? Here, read a zillion blogs about men’s experiences to give you an idea of what it might be like

Women want to learn about F/m chastity in r-ships? Here, read a zillion blogs about men’s experiences...then you’re on your own!

Boy oh boy, if this isn’t an accurate example of what I’m talking about!

(Subtweet with noooo shade at all intended. It’s super helpful to hear men’s perspectives... but... just... I.... .... ...see! This is how it always is. The *illusion* that she is the one who wants it most)

I think that a lot of my negative bitter feelings towards chastity are because it almost feels like gaslighting.

“You want him in chastity! You demand he stay locked up! You love all the extra chores he’ll do!”

I do?! Who asked me?
(/?)

“Nooo, don’t force me into the scary mean penis cage!”

Ok, I won’t.

“Why won’t The Women Do Chastity with me??”

(/?)

“Please please please take off the cage please Mistress let me cum”

Ok yes I’d like to see you cum!

“Ugh why won’t she Be Mean and ignore what I beg her to do & whine about?! She should know I don’t want her to do what I say I want her to do!”

(/?)

Now a decade+ of Femdom and of me bitterly resenting chastity in lifestyle settings. Sure doesn’t feel like I’m the Dominant In Charge, when they’re obeying a piece of metal and trying to convince me that I want different things than what I actually want.

(/?)

I still believe there‘s a context in which I would LOVE chastity!

But NOT the standard context. Not being consistently told by my “sub” how I should treat his penis. Or how I should just-the-right-way ignore his penis & pretend I’m the one choosing to do it when he asked for it!

Relationships —
even and especially D/s ones — often involve doing things we don’t *love* or personally prefer, but happily agree to do because we want to do it with that person. We both want to make each other happy and have fun.

I want to drop the illusion & gaslighting.

If I do chastity, it will be because I, Domme, am choosing to GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS.

& he chooses to give me many many things too

No more expectation to magically mindread the right answer when he begs to do things he doesn’t want to be allowed to do!

OR

It needs to be specifically negotiated to ignore his begging, just like noncon/rape roleplay scenes where it’s specifically stated ... (next tweet)

If “don’t lock me up” means lock me up

And “please let me cum” means please don’t let me cum

Then NEGOTIATE & PRE DISCUSS THAT SHIT WITH HER

and fucking THANK HER FOR INDULGING YOU and don’t PRETEND you’re indulging HER desire for you to be caged!