There& #39;s a huge spike of COVID cases in Hasidic communities, and everyone—but chiefly their own Hatzalah members and community leaders—are downplaying the severity. They tell me I& #39;m delusional. "It& #39;s mild," they say. "No one has been ventilated." Both my parents are sick.

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Rosh Hashanah happened. Yom Kippur is happening. Sukkahs will happen.

No one cares that a fire is raging, licking its way toward greater destruction. I keep repeating the words, "I don& #39;t care. I don& #39;t care. I don& #39;t f*cking care."

If I say it often enough, I really won& #39;t care and my body will resist a spiral into the abyss of March and April. It won& #39;t punish me like it did from May through August—a crash so devastating, I still haven& #39;t fully recovered.

Maskless masses shopping, going to large, indoor weddings, sitting for hours on end in shul. They know the guidelines. They ignore it. In a community where "vus yener tit"—what the other person does—matters more than what experts say, you can& #39;t win.

They know better than experts do because hoydel and ploydel said so. At this point, no amount of education will seep into a psyche that& #39;s been saturated with conspiracy theories and disbelief of secular authorities.

The few sounding the alarm are not only being ignored—they& #39;re being laughed at. My friends in the community tell me they can& #39;t do it anymore. They& #39;re done. And all you armchair experts with your genius ideas to take out ads in community papers, you know nothing. Nada.

I have been a laughingstock for months now because I refuse to attend simchas.

They know the dangers; they& #39;ve chosen not to believe it. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😰" title="Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß">