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What is the one of the biggest reasons for frustration in our lives?
Surely it has to be the stubbornness of other people.
How hard it is to reach them, to make them see things our way.
But instead of complaining how ignored and misunderstood you are, try this...
[THREAD]
Surely it has to be the stubbornness of other people.
How hard it is to reach them, to make them see things our way.
But instead of complaining how ignored and misunderstood you are, try this...
[THREAD]
THE ART OF INFLUENCE
You can& #39;t go through life without in way or another trying to persuade someone of something.
We usually say outright what we want, present our ideas in the possible light, try to please other people. But this is not effective.
You need to learn influence
You can& #39;t go through life without in way or another trying to persuade someone of something.
We usually say outright what we want, present our ideas in the possible light, try to please other people. But this is not effective.
You need to learn influence
It& #39;s hard to reach people and make them see things our way because of their self-absorption.
They& #39;re absorbed in their tastes, values, and opinions. If in any way they find their sense of self-esteem threatened by our strange habits and behavior, a psychological wall goes up...
They& #39;re absorbed in their tastes, values, and opinions. If in any way they find their sense of self-esteem threatened by our strange habits and behavior, a psychological wall goes up...
... and makes them even more resistant, even more absorbed in their own ways.
People love themselves, but they also love seeing their values reflected in someone else.
People love themselves, but they also love seeing their values reflected in someone else.
This is the key to influence - you must make people relaxed by validating their values, opinions, and tastes.
The psychological wall crumbles, they become more open because they feel secure in your presence, and you can now enter their mind and plant your ideas.
The psychological wall crumbles, they become more open because they feel secure in your presence, and you can now enter their mind and plant your ideas.
If you attack people and judge their ways of looking at things, they& #39;ll become more defensive and resistant, making your task to change their points of view impossible.
That& #39;s why arguing with people is the worst possible way to try to change them.
That& #39;s why arguing with people is the worst possible way to try to change them.
Four Strategies To Become An Expert Influencer 1-on-1:
1. Deep Listening
2. Actively Seek Ways To Confirm The Self-image Of Your Target
3. Accept Your Target As He Is
4. Alleviate Doubts
Apply them in combination to maximize their effects.
1. Deep Listening
2. Actively Seek Ways To Confirm The Self-image Of Your Target
3. Accept Your Target As He Is
4. Alleviate Doubts
Apply them in combination to maximize their effects.
Deep Listening
Shut down your internal monologue and listen closely to what the other person is saying.
Encourage him to talk by asking open-ended questions.
Nod and maintain eye contact if appropriate. Paraphrase him and let him see that you understand what he& #39;s talking about
Shut down your internal monologue and listen closely to what the other person is saying.
Encourage him to talk by asking open-ended questions.
Nod and maintain eye contact if appropriate. Paraphrase him and let him see that you understand what he& #39;s talking about
Confirm Self-image
Never try to argue directly and impose your opinion. Never try to show how you& #39;ve deducted your opinion by thinking rationally and that he hasn& #39;t.
This implies that you know better and your target becomes insecure and more resistant.
Never try to argue directly and impose your opinion. Never try to show how you& #39;ve deducted your opinion by thinking rationally and that he hasn& #39;t.
This implies that you know better and your target becomes insecure and more resistant.
Confirm Self-image (pt2)
Instead, be more neutral.
The opinion you& #39;re presenting is just something you entertain, and not necessarily something you agree with or think is true.
This lowers resistance and makes your target more open to you.
Instead, be more neutral.
The opinion you& #39;re presenting is just something you entertain, and not necessarily something you agree with or think is true.
This lowers resistance and makes your target more open to you.
Accept Your Target As He Is
Arouse a sense of security in the other person by being completely indulgent - no judgment, just pure acceptance.
What you& #39;re doing here is transferring a relaxed mood to your target.
Be relaxed, open, and acceptive, and he& #39;ll mirror you.
Arouse a sense of security in the other person by being completely indulgent - no judgment, just pure acceptance.
What you& #39;re doing here is transferring a relaxed mood to your target.
Be relaxed, open, and acceptive, and he& #39;ll mirror you.
Alleviate Doubts
Everyone has some doubts. Doubts about physical appearance, intelligence, levels of expertise, popularity, social status, just to name a few.
Your task is to identify the doubts of your target and to alleviate them through praise and flattery.
Everyone has some doubts. Doubts about physical appearance, intelligence, levels of expertise, popularity, social status, just to name a few.
Your task is to identify the doubts of your target and to alleviate them through praise and flattery.
Difference between manipulation and influence.
Manipulation - using any means necessary to get the other person to do what you want him to do in order to fulfill your needs or desires, regardless of whether what you want is in the other person& #39;s best interests.
Manipulation - using any means necessary to get the other person to do what you want him to do in order to fulfill your needs or desires, regardless of whether what you want is in the other person& #39;s best interests.
Difference between manipulation and influence.
Influence - you guide the person to make decisions based on reliable information and a sound relationship with you, in order for him to do what& #39;s best for him.
Influence - you guide the person to make decisions based on reliable information and a sound relationship with you, in order for him to do what& #39;s best for him.
If you want to learn this in great detail, buy my ebook "The Ultimate Success Skill" and you& #39;ll get free bonus where you can learn how to recognize envy and influence anyone 1-on-1.
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