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I can’t keep count of the times I’ve been told “I hear you” and “I’m sorry” since May.
All regular conversation I used to have with these white people about science, food, boys, etc. went out the window the minute they started reciting lines from Instagram infographics.
https://twitter.com/isasaxonists/status/1309199303567646720
All regular conversation I used to have with these white people about science, food, boys, etc. went out the window the minute they started reciting lines from Instagram infographics.
https://twitter.com/isasaxonists/status/1309199303567646720
That ignorance surrounding my experience as one of the relatively few Asian archaeologists and anthropologists—that ignorance was on show already ever since I met them in 2018, 2014, or 2009.
However, we still talked about a hundred other things… a connection now lost.
However, we still talked about a hundred other things… a connection now lost.
I’m not ‘grateful’, per se, for the white people who have continued talking to me, probably forcing themselves a bit to remain engaged and stay my friend and colleague.
I just see empathy towards others’ experience as the bare minimum friends and colleagues do for each other?
I just see empathy towards others’ experience as the bare minimum friends and colleagues do for each other?
You can discuss interpretations of archaeological data, your plans for the next biological anthropology conference, or how to frame human evolution lectures.
Anti-racism work is just another topic I care about outside ‘my field’ like the climate crisis, politics, and scicomm.
Anti-racism work is just another topic I care about outside ‘my field’ like the climate crisis, politics, and scicomm.
Clearly, the topics of white supremacy, colonial history and academic racism are too big and scary for some of my former friends and colleagues. 
The time is over where we see each other as peers. They’re not ready to rise to this moment. Our interactions are broken.
The time is over where we see each other as peers. They’re not ready to rise to this moment. Our interactions are broken.
Because I valued our existing relationships, I waited for weeks and months for adequate engagement on this topic. I was ever-present for them, as a friend and colleague, ready to be patient and even educate these white people a bit.
So I REFUSE to claim fault for any of this.
So I REFUSE to claim fault for any of this.
These people aren’t ready to really ‘hear’ me. I’m a person with plans and needs too, but the white fragility and recentering of themselves is real.
Their earlier commitments to me were a farce—to keep me when it was easier, or when I provided value for them in THEIR life.
Their earlier commitments to me were a farce—to keep me when it was easier, or when I provided value for them in THEIR life.
My mom, grandma, partner and friends in Hong Kong all say ‘good riddance’ after I cut contact with those who don’t recognize my ideas, my career struggles, or my humanity.
I’ve started recognizing this is the sentiment I need to adopt as well… for my own welfare and healing.
I’ve started recognizing this is the sentiment I need to adopt as well… for my own welfare and healing.
How sad it is for them to see me, whom they love dearly, so deprived of being ‘heard’.
To have been wronged, disrespected and unseen for a decade(!) of my life.
So I refuse to try anymore with the biggest egos on the planet who don’t get what ‘the work’ actually demands.
To have been wronged, disrespected and unseen for a decade(!) of my life.
So I refuse to try anymore with the biggest egos on the planet who don’t get what ‘the work’ actually demands.
