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This probably wont get any attention and that okay. Here& #39;s a thread of me asking you to hear my story with my eating disorder. Please don& #39;t read if you cannot handle it. I just want others to hear me, I& #39;m not okay I& #39;m not alright right now
So, I& #39;ve been anerxic since middle school through now I& #39;m not proud of that but it& #39;s reality. In middle school I was bullied a lot especially since I& #39;m not from the us. I& #39;m from France. So much English was not very good back in middle school.
I wanted so bad to be like every & #39;popular girl& #39; in school. So, I changed myself to try and avoid the bullying. I dyed my hair, changed my entire closet, mimicked the gestures of those girls, hell I even joined the cheer team.
It was in 7th grade when I started to skip meals to become skinny. I& #39;m going to move forward a little bit. By the end of 8th grad I was 87 pounds.
High school in America was an experience. I ended up finding some good friends who like me for the real me and not the middle school version of me that I made. I had a small group of friends that I would die for. But I joined choir because I love to sing.
Without trying to I became & #39;popular& #39; among choir students and then eventually the band kids because I was best friends with a girl in band. I was eating really unhealthy because I wanted to please my friends and I really wanted to be a normal healthy weight.
Finally in the middle of 9th grade I weighed 98 pounds and I was super happy that I had gained weight. Then it all came crashing down again. I confessed to on of my best friends that I like her more than just beat friends. When we started dating I was more than happy.
We date for the rest of the year and our 10th grade year. She then cheated on me and broke up with me. She really broke my heart. I was humiliated and heartbroken. I became depressed and I self harmed and I started to skip meals again.
Halfway through 10th grade I met a wonderful girl named Megan. She really kind of pulled me out of my depression. I smiled genuinely around her and I didn& #39;t feel the need to pressure myself to look or act like a different side of me.
I cried to her about the break up for weeks in he car at lunch time. One day she took me to McDonald& #39;s (lmfao) and bought me lunch and told me that I can& #39;t skip meals or self harm again. She got me breakfast every morning lunch in the afternoon and called me before & after dinner
To make sure that I ate and she looked at my thighs every morning. She watched me grow and become healthier and stronger every day. She and I have been beat friends ever since. I owe her my life literally.
Flash forward to this year, I graduated high school during a mf pandemic and I am the healthiest I& #39;ve ever been! I was so happy and excited and I was proud of myself for getting here. I weighed 116 pounds.
Flash forward again to earlier this week. I posted a picture (of literally my face) for #AtinySelcaDay because I was confident enough to do it. I received a dm not even an half an hour after I posted it and the dm was very hurtful.
"You& #39;re so fat! You& #39;re so ugly!! Oh my gosh gross please stop eating!" so I did, I stopped eating and I began to overwork myself with dance (I& #39;m on a dance team) and working out.
I passed out during my rehearsal yesterday and I was told I& #39;m on a mandatory 2 week rest period from dance. I lost a lot of weight already. I went from 116 to 99 pounds. I began to have a few bad thoughts
But I called Megan and I cried to her and I told her exactly what happened. She picked me up and took me to her house (with both of our parent permission)
She has once again stopped me from skipping meals and I& #39;m not allowed to have anything sharp.
This is getting messy and I& #39;m crying but let me sum this up. Please never ever send people thing like "you& #39;re ugly, you need to stop eating, ew you& #39;re gross ect." you literally never know what is going on in tha other person& #39;s mind.
My parents are not home with me during the day. It wouldn& #39;t have been anything for my bad thoughts that I struggle with daily to win. I could have killed myself because of those comments.
I don& #39;t know why bullies exist but stop it. Had I not have my best friend, you wouldve put me in a grave. I don& #39;t think the girl who sent me the messages will see this bc I& #39;ve blocked her, but still. If I had done what my head was telling me to at that time, YOU wouldve been the-
-reason I did it. PLEASE think before you guys send hate to people. Regardless of who is my PFP on a damn app there& #39;s still a real person behind the screen.
Also, I& #39;m eating well now 2 meals a day and a snack. I can& #39;t eat 3 full meals right now my body rejects that much food.
I& #39;m sorry if this thread is kinda all over the place. I really wanted to give y& #39;all a backstory and I wanted you guys to see how your word can trigger people.
