When the @DeptVetAffairs decides that you no longer rate caregiver support because you went to visit family for your birthday... with someone who is a certified caregiver. Because apparently that means I'm suddenly not incredibly disabled and need help anymore.

And I'm being told that I don't need a lot of help because I am able to spend roughly 8 hours a day, alone. Yeah, that alone time made my arms suddenly grow back, I can hear again, I have no more knee/shoulder/back issues stemming from my lack of elbows, and my memory is back.

Guess I'll just hop in the truck, drive to the store, get my groceries without help, open my door with real keys, put my hair up, chop and cook my food, then clean my kitchen. Because these are things I can just magically do on my own now.

Then, I can wash my hair, and get ready for bed, which I can totally make on my own now, and actually fall asleep at a decent hour in a dark silent room! Because along with growing my arms back, my eardrums must be whole again, and I don't have chronic insomnia and pain anymore!

And I guess I can sleep through the entire night because I won't wake up to tinnitus, or phantom pain. Oh, and yay! I don't have to worry about falling because of vertigo! And I can shower without a chair and assistance because I can suddenly do all the bathing things!

And they must've cured that pesky memory issue of not being able to remember important things like my anniversary, doing my taxes, paying my bills, when my appointments are, or if I'd already asked you something 5 minutes ago, or just thought it and forgot to say it out loud.

And it's super great to know I can just use any bathroom anywhere without help! And not having to worry about dressing, and hygiene is a godsend. Omg, and holding 2 things at once, or picking up literally anything is going to be awesome!

Admittedly, being able to vacuum and do dishes, fold laundry, or use any cleaning agent at all won't be as fun. But I'll be so happy to not chip my teeth on everything I try to hold or open anymore!

And the whole not being able to do the very few things I can do on my own because I broke HO off in my little stump, or got a rash, or bruised just one residual limb is a thing of the past!

Who knew that all I needed to do was visit my home town to not be disabled anymore? Fantastic news, VA! I can't imagine why people don't trust you! I really love the part where my husband gets to help me fix your mess from Syria! He totally doesn't have other things to focus on!