Kimetsu gakuen tanzen but make the popular kid tanjirou whipped for the actually-popular-but-no-one-wants-to-admit-it zenitsu. A lonely loser that's the student council president and hates his life. With tanjirou, trying his hardest to not fall harder for him.

Its impossible.

Tanjirou elbows inosuke in the stomach as he was peacfully eating his watermelon. Almost choking, he looks at tanjirou. Wanting to yell at him until his eyes landed exactly where tanjirou's whole vision was focusing on. The obnoxious blonde.

Inosuke didn't mind him. He'd say he's quite good pals with him since he was the first who raced him and actually matched his speed. Even if it was for buttoning up his shirt. His daily morning chase is perfect for training to become this school's king, but nowadays after-

-tanjirou realized that he might like the boy too much (which wasn't too long) it confused him on why tanjirou even liked him, but none of that mattered right now because at this moment he wants to punch tanjirou's face so hard for that unnessecary jab.

"What the hell was that for?!"
"Shh!! He's here.."
He didn't even give him a chance to explain as he smacked the side of tanjirou's head hard, making him stumble from the force.
"INOSUKE! Right when i told you he's here?!"

"Dang. You won't even worry about your head other than his after that hit?" Tanjirou's face reddend and he turned around. He was looking if zenitsu caught that, and by some miracle, he didn't. As he was too busy writing in his notebook. He sighed in relief.

"Thank god he didn't catch that. Inosuke you were so wrong for that. I jabbed you because you were eating too loud!"
"And? Did you want me to choke so you can finish your stalking session?"
"I-I wasn't stalking him!!"
"Said every stalker ever."
Tanjirou sighs and crosses his-

-arms. He looks at zenitsu again and his gaze softens. Inosuke wouldn't doubt that he's doing the dopey face again. The 'eyes half lidded and a huge grin plasterd on his face' one. He takes one glance and yep, he is.

"You don't get it Ino. He's so.. Hard working and an amazing school president. He's smart and my god his beauty is so out of this world. I love him way too much Inosuke. Its almost dangerous." Inosuke looked sideways and scoffed. Grossed out by the love talk and tanjirou's-

-stupidity. "Just ask him out idiot."
"I can't. Not only the girls in this school will bully him and hurt him in ways i can't even fathom, i don't even know how he feels about me. The only time we interact is when he's yelling at my earrings and i stare at his beautiful face."

Tanjirou looks up, inosuke cringes at the last thing he said.
"Hey, do you remember the first time we saw him?" Inosuke really wanted to roll his eyes when he brought that topic up again. He has to remind him everyday about that incedent. He may respect zenitsu for it, but he's-

-really considering it everytime tanjirou brings it up. He sighs and nods. Whether that was a sign of begging tanjirou to stop or urging him to keep going, tanjirou already was doing the latter.
"Nezuko.. I left her a bit to go to a store and buy some things, when i got back-

-i saw him getting beat up by those fuckers." Inosuke's eyes widen a bit and looks at tanjirou again, still a bit shocked that he still has that anger in him from that time. Its been months now.
"I think when i saw him, the first thing that i thought of him was...-

-how angelic he was, even if he was on the ground and bruised. He.. Almost defined a literal angel fallen from heaven. Its funny in a way now that i look back at it now. But.... It was the first time i truly felt rage in my whole life." Tanjirou was serious, as he-

-remembered the memory play in his head again. He's sure he got that memory burned to his skull by now.
"He saved Mezuto from getting kidnapped or even worse from these guys. He's got balls." Tanjirou chuckles as he agrees, as inosuke expected. Whenever it comes to compleminting-

-zenitsu, tanjirou is the first to add in on it to the point of it becoming a challenge. He always wins in them. Sucks he can't do it in front of zenitsu's face.
"It confuses me how he denies his strength and big heart. Its like he thinks im lying.." Inosuke shrugs as he expects-

-tanjirou going on a rant on how he doesn't want to be popular and just be friends with him without the risk of the school going upside down because of him. And most importantly, finally get his dry crumbs of interactions with that zenitsu guy.

"God, Inosuke i just want to love him. Doesn't matter in front of everyone in the world or alone, i just want him near me and hold his hand." Straight to the point today huh? Inosuke wanted to gag but kept himself under control because he knew that if he did, he won't hold back-

-vomiting out the bread.
"Like i said before for the hundredth and fifty two times, ask. Him. Out. Already." Tanjirou groans and for a second, genuinely looked like in pain.
"I'm trying! But when i get near him its like the universe is banning me from talking to him!" He looks-

-at his hand and clenches.
"I... Just have to wait."
"Well how are you gonna get him then? Wait your whole life for the "perfect chance"? Your so pathetic Monjirou." He bites the bread again with tanjirou yelling in his ear about the "plans" he has in his mind-

-as proof that no, he isn't pinning and will make the marriage arrangments soon.

And wow, how amazing of a failure all of them were.
When tanjirou wanted to sit next to zenitsu around lunch time, the yellow boy was nowhere to be seen. As they didn't know that zenitsu was-

-actually running away from sanemi, saving himself from potential murder as he accidently answerd number five on a "What's four plus four?" question.

The second attempt was worse, as tanjirou "missed" him too much (disGUSTING) and went straight to the councils room. As he barged in there and yelled zenitsu's name, he realized what he did, it dawns on him worse when all the council students were in a meeting-

-and zenitsu was with them. Staring at tanjirou and being nervous, the boy hid himself behind murata and looked at them.
"W-why are the most two popular kids here??!"
"Zenitsu, they're students too..." Murata whispers to him. Tanjirou puffs at that, inosuke makes a disgusted-

-face and turns around. He can almost feel the jealousy off of tanjirou. GOD he's pathetic.
"C-can i talk to Zenitsu?"
"No.." Zenitsu whispers to himself, but the earring boy caught that. As he looks heart broken. Inosuke bites his lip as he sees the mutual-

-pinning except zenitsu does nothing with his feelings at hand. He was going to burst in loud laughter until aoi coughed.
"We're in the middle of a meeting as you can see. For now no one can leave until we finish things. Do you need anything?"

"Yes, his hand in ma-" Before tanjirou can even finish his biggest mistake in history, inosuke immediatly held him in choke hold and started choking him to silence.
"What the hell??"
"Don't worry, this is simply part of the deal."
"GET OUT!" Aoi pushed them out of the room-

-while tanjirou was begging for air. When he saw the coast being clear for now, he let him go.
"Guh-Hah... Hah... Thanks."
"No prob." Inosuke pats himself on the back for the save. Remembering things were not his fortune unless it involved violence, and tanjirou's deal of-

-stopping him whenever he blurts something stupid has been the best one yet.

So of course, the second attempt was a failure too.
Tanjirou's third attempt was the final one, and ended horribly. As tanjirou forcibly dragged zenitsu under the cherry blossom tree, following after-

-that, a couple of sneezes from zenitsu until he started full on coughing and sneezing after every second. Inosuke laughing his ass off with girls appearing in the scene, not letting the popular kid breath for a bit. So of course, that ended bad (wonderful) for them.

"Inosuke... I'm so tired. I don't know what to do now. Why is it so hard to get near him?"
"Because your ideas are shit."
"Whatever happens.... I will get him."
"That's disgusting."
"I'm not giving up!"
"Yaaay..." Inosuke pumps his fist lazily in the air with tanjirou,-

-taking a guess at how many months will it take for these dumbasses to have enough confidence and drop the L bomb already.