The people who work their way into your mind and become the negative voice in your head are the most pernicious and evil people out there. The ones who see where your confidence is lacking, seek it out and reinforce all the untrue and horrible things you say to yourself when

nobody is looking. Those people. If the negative things your say to yourself take on someone else’s voice - a family member, significant other, or friend - stop, listen, and breathe. Ask yourself if someone who really saw you or loved you would speak to you that way.

Hint: the

answer is no.

Don’t walk, RUN away from those people. The fact that you hear their voice in your head when you’re down on yourself is a sign. It’s a sign of toxicity, manipulation, and emotional abuse. Don’t ignore it. Please.

People who truly love you see the good, even when

you cannot see it in yourself. They give you the benefit of the doubt. They see that you are trying your hardest. They respect what you bring to the table, even when it is not perfect. They appreciate the unique gifts that make you special. They use their intimate knowledge

of you to bring out the best and to help you see the best version of yourself even when you can’t.

You deserve nothing less. When the devil is whispering in your ear, stop and breathe. And then move away. Find people that love you unconditionally. The others are lying to you.

It is especially evil and harmful when this happens at work. Anyone trying to convince you that you don’t belong, you’re incompetent, etc etc etc... that is a red flag in a work environment and you need to RUN. Real allies and mentors and supporters are trying to build you up,

help you find your special gifts in medicine, and pushing you to see your worthiness. When you find co-workers like that, hold on for as long as you can. There’s so much toxicity in medicine. Truly supportive partners are a rare and precious gift.

Those co-workers who feed your

imposter syndrome by refusing to afford you the benefit of the doubt don’t see you, know you, appreciate you, or deserve your gifts.

There are other careers. There are other jobs. And no paycheck, no matter how big, is worth your well-being.

When you’re feeling weak and their

voices are winning, please remember that people who say and do stuff like this are toxic and the behavior reflects ONLY ON THEM. There are plenty of us who recognize that the ones trash talking others only make themselves look weak by doing so. No need to fight them. Just keep on

moving.

For folks like us, it takes wild amounts of self-awareness and presence of mind... but the end goal is recognize these weak people for who and what they are. To find the courage to tell these folks to get fucked, even if we never say it out loud. Took me many years to recognize

these people for the bullies and abusers they are. Took me even longer to overcome. I still have days when they make a convincing argument in the back of my mind. But I always circle back with recognition of where that false statement about me came from and I follow it up w a big

FUCK YOU. They can only win when you allow them to convince you of their lies. They can only win if you let them. Don’t.