Sneaking suspicion that Ring has somehow been monitoring me in order to create an amalgamation of my fears and loathings.

(Also, WHO WANTS THIS???) https://twitter.com/verge/status/1309182957526151169

Also, I genuinely love that whenever new surveillance tech comes out, a number of people on the internet are like "Calli must see this."

Please do not stop. Alert me to evil and I will respond to the Cal-Signal with continued shrieking and occasional threads.

Still picturing all the ways this could go awry.

"WE HEARD SOUNDS OF DISTRESS FROM THE SHOWER AND INSPECTED. IN OTHER NEWS, HERE IS THE WIKIPEDIA ENTRY FOR 'TONE DEAF.'"

"THE KITCHEN FIRE ALARM REQUESTED THAT WE IDENTIFY THE DANGER SOURCE. YOU HAVE BURNT YOUR GRILLED CHEESE."

"YOUR CHILD MUMBLED OUR NAME IN THEIR SLEEP, SO WE WATCHED THEM ALL NIGHT AND SENT THE VIDEO TO HEADQUARTERS FOR MARKETING USE, SWEET DREAMS."

"A HUMAN WAS SEEN SMOKING BEHIND YOUR HOME. WE CONFIRMED THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY YOU HIDING BEHIND A BUSH AND HAVE INFORMED YOUR SPOUSE."

"PLEASE PURCHASE OUR NEW 'TASER' UPGRADE QUICKLY. YOUR PUPPY HAS DEVELOPED A FIXATION WITH US."

"WE REALLY MUST INSIST ON A 'STOP CLOSING DOORS IN YOUR HOME - WE CAN'T WORK THE KNOBS' POLICY."

"YOUR FITBIT AND NETFLIX ACCOUNT HAVE CONFERRED WITH US. THIS IS AN INTERVENTION."