Sometimes it's like "damn, you know, depression aside, I'm actually pretty great??? As long as I work at treating people right I can remain great no matter what my brain says?"

Like seriously, if I'm feeling down I just ask myself "was I kind today?" And if the answer was no I just do a kindness for someone. Even on the days I can't get out of bed. If I made someone's day better, then no disability or depression can stop me.

A friend asked me to ask myself if I was a good person. My brain went "I try to be but I probably fuck up all the time." She made me answer in a yes/no. But I took from that the simple lesson that as long as I'm working at it, it's like physical therapy. Progress is progress.

When you spend years of your life being told you're a sinner, that God hates you for making games or going to film school or believing that global warming is real (yeah), it can be easy to start internalizing that and telling yourself you'll never be good enough.

At some point I was like "well, just telling myself I'm a good person might be arrogant or egotistical, and I want to avoid that."

So I ended up happening upon the idea of just asking myself "did I do good today?" and if not, then making sure I do.

lotta the worst people I know have a habit of going "well I'm good already so I don't need to keep being good." I'm doin my best to ask myself if every day I did more good than bad.

it's like workin out. if you stop workin out and you lose the six pack you can't say "I still have a great six pack." Bein great is the same way: put as much good into the world as you can, don't beat yourself up on, say, a sick day.

so on the days where chronic fatigue is real bad and I can't get out of bed, that's ok, maybe I just dm a friend and give them a compliment, or toss someone a random steam code I have, or ask someone about the project they're working on so they can enthuse about it.