Read on Twitter
Okay White folks, it's time to talk about how we learn about racism.
About three years ago, we hosted an event at our church that was a panel conversation about Faith & Race. In a planning meeting for the event, someone threw out the idea of doing a privilege walk ( https://www.uh.edu/cdi/diversity_education/resources/activities/pdf/privilege-walk.pdf).
One of the Black planners said, "Why would we do that? What am I gonna learn from a privilege walk?"
I realized in that moment that I wasn't really planning an event about Faith and Race. I was really trying to plan an event to teach White people about Race. And what I was REALLY really doing was trying to create an event where I could learn about Race. Me.
The event was centered around Whiteness. And, not so subtly, I was expecting the congregants of Color to do the heavy lifting, or at least to be in the room so I could learn from their labor.
Earlier this week, a post from a church in Houston made the rounds ( https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10113982352395533&id=2242831). It showed a bunch of racialized situations (enslaved persons, a nail salon, dolls), but the races were reversed.
And again what struck me was, "These pictures aren't for persons of Color. They already know. These ARE their lived realities. These pictures are for White people."
Friends, I am convinced we don't appreciate the great lengths to which our friends of Color go to help us understand the awful weight of our racialized culture.
The countless hours and deep emotional burden they take on to educate us because we say, "How could this be?" or "But Civil Rights!" or "But I have Black friends/family/co-workers!"
Remember May (that was like 40 years ago, but remember it?)? Remember how suddenly everyone was buying books to read, to educate ourselves about racism?
You know what book we all bought? White Fragility. It's about... how White people deal with talking about racism. And it's written by a White person.
(And of course plenty of people didn't even buy that, we just wanted to argue about it because we found a blog post that assured us it's not worth reading.)
Do you see a pattern here? All of these keep Whiteness at the front and center. Even our anti-racism books are about how White people react to *talking about* racism.
Meanwhile, the lived reality of our siblings of color isn't changing.
So if you want to receive some advice from one more White person, here it is:
1. Stop putting yourself at the center. Do you feel bad? Okay. Acknowledge that and move on. Are you confused? That's okay. Acknowledge it. Do you feel attacked? It gets worse before it gets better. I promise you'll be okay. Take a deep breath and put on your big kid pants.
Seriously... any time you start to think, "But I would never," or "I've never," or "But not all..." just stop. Take a deep breath. Keep going. Our goal is to remove ourselves from the conversation (because we've been dominating it for way too long). Not forever. Just for now.
2. LISTEN. Really listen. Not where we're just waiting for the other person to stop so we can start talking. Not the 'we googled a phrase and found a fact and it makes me feel better so who cares if it's true I'm going to post it now aha see I was right' listening.
Listening. The kind where we receive the other person's perspective without judgment. Where we HEAR them and work to understand where they're coming from. Until we're able to articulate the perspective of our friends of Color in a way they recognize, we haven't heard them.
3. Speaking of friends of Color: we're listening to the people we don't understand. We're buying their books. We're putting them at the center of our attention (which is really pulling up a chair to the edge of their circle, rather than inviting them into ours).
It should go without saying (but it doesn't so here we go) that I'm not listening to persons of Color who approve of my perspective.
No group is a monolith, so of course I can find a couple who affirm what I already believed. If my goal is to keep myself at the center, and to keep myself comfortable and untroubled, then these are the folks I'm hearing.
But if I'm serious about understanding racism and my role in it, then I'm going to seek out those who are leaders in this conversation.
None of this is easy. None of it FEELS good. It's a deeply painful process, and one that uncovers new layers of entrenched White supremacy in our own spirits.
But nothing changes when no one changes. So to overquote a Brown man who loved Jesus but not his White followers, maybe we could be the change we want to see in the world.
We want a less racist world? Let's learn how to be less racist.
/thread
We want a less racist world? Let's learn how to be less racist.
/thread
