it's hard for me to see my friends be friends (even just social media "friends") with people from our old hs/grade school because like.... most of those people dropped me ??? like won't even add me on social media and it just fucking sucks to be the one no one wants to see again

like not even people who WERE my friends will add me. which is so confusing to me because ik i wasn't the best in hs but in my defense i was being harassed by teachers and other students but somehow i still came out the one hated/disliked

i wouldn't even think about this stuff if it weren't for social media because i wouldn't SEE that we're not mutuals but instead i get to see all these people be "friends" on social media even tho most of them hated each other / treated each other like shit

like my best friend is friends with SO MANY PEOPLE from hs&grade school and all she does is check their pages so that she can make fun of them and then gets weirded out at me that im weirded out by her even checking in on them

its just hitting me extra hard right now because im so ready to kms being isolated out in the woods and getting to see everyone else move on with their lives from behind my phone screen

like how can m*cky be fb friends with all these people she talked so much shit about for so many years & with people who treated her like absolute shit but not me ??????? what did i personally do that was so fucking bad ???

this thread is just me spiralling into even deeper self hated based on people that have always treated me badly and made me feel like shit, welcome to being an adult with severe m e n t a l i l l n e s s

i should probably just delete my social media, but then i wouldn't be able to send my friends memes in place of talking to them so