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These are some of the reasons your Nigerian kids (teenagers and young adults) don't tell you what's going on their lives. [THREAD]
1. You don't respect their business.
Your child confides in you and the first thing you do is tell everyone in the family. Now, your child is getting rebuked by aunties & uncles & strangers that never gave a fuck. The trust is broken.
Your child confides in you and the first thing you do is tell everyone in the family. Now, your child is getting rebuked by aunties & uncles & strangers that never gave a fuck. The trust is broken.
2. You think your child is a robot.
Your child falls in love, gets horny, gets heartbroken, watches porn, gets depressed, gets pressured, feels insecure, feels suicidal and everything else that comes with life.
Maybe start treating them like humans & stop the god-complex.
Your child falls in love, gets horny, gets heartbroken, watches porn, gets depressed, gets pressured, feels insecure, feels suicidal and everything else that comes with life.
Maybe start treating them like humans & stop the god-complex.
3. You're starting conversations too late.
At 13, your daughter has started liking boys/watching porn and your boys have started learning about sex from xvideos. Have AT LEAST an hour long convo on sex while they still love you. Answer all their questions. Give them condoms.
At 13, your daughter has started liking boys/watching porn and your boys have started learning about sex from xvideos. Have AT LEAST an hour long convo on sex while they still love you. Answer all their questions. Give them condoms.
4. You're being too religious/condescending.
Bible verses are beautiful reinforcements when used appropriately. Stop using proverbs 13:24 OR Exodus 20:12 as an excuse to abuse/lord over your child. Show love/compassion/mercy when your child performs below your expectations.
Bible verses are beautiful reinforcements when used appropriately. Stop using proverbs 13:24 OR Exodus 20:12 as an excuse to abuse/lord over your child. Show love/compassion/mercy when your child performs below your expectations.
5. You're not okay with your child saying No.
Your child can say No to you & should. Else he/she will go out into the world and won't have the voice to say no to other people.
Your child can say No to you & should. Else he/she will go out into the world and won't have the voice to say no to other people.
6. You're not being an active parent.
I know you're working hard in this economy but food, shelter and clothing–even the best of these things–just aren't enough. And telling your child that they should be enough is just pushing them further away.
I know you're working hard in this economy but food, shelter and clothing–even the best of these things–just aren't enough. And telling your child that they should be enough is just pushing them further away.
7. You're being a fucking push over.
Be a loving disciplinarian. Yes, it's possible to be a disciplinarian without raising your voice/whooping your child with an extension cord.
Be a loving disciplinarian. Yes, it's possible to be a disciplinarian without raising your voice/whooping your child with an extension cord.
8. You think your child is a dunce.
Your child is not a dunce. Teach them how to be critical thinkers early. Show them the best & worst of their decisions.
Your child is not a dunce. Teach them how to be critical thinkers early. Show them the best & worst of their decisions.
9. You're not taking responsibility over how you've hurt them in the past.
A simple and honest apology/conversation is a step in the right direction.
A simple and honest apology/conversation is a step in the right direction.
10. You're just a terrible parent & you need some form of therapy to address your issues.
I'm not a professional at parenting but as someone who has been on the receiving end of bad parenting, I just dont want another
Nigerian child to go through this.
Nigerian child to go through this.
If you don't want your child to go off to uni and not come home for five years, if you don't want your child to get STDs over stupid mistakes, if you don't want your child in abusive/sugar daddy relationships or getting overdosed on drugs... do all of these.
It won't guarantee that all of these won't happen but at least, your words will have serious weight in their decision making process & you would've raised a beautiful/decent human being.
I did this thread today because I remembered a conversation I had with my friend when I was fourteen. She came out as a lesbian to her parents and got beat up. At the time, I was depressed and asked for help/therapy from my parents. I got beat up too. This shouldn't be the norm.
