I& #39;ve felt very conflicted about a choice I& #39;m making. On one hand, it means I am advancing in my life. I& #39;m in a bubble and it& #39;s a good one. But on the other hand, I& #39;m afraid to live here. Not just in this state. In this country.
Looking for a place to live and seeing Trump flags - all of these people are my neighbors. All of them. And they may be surface level nice but they support a man who does not want me to exist based on the color of my skin. Period. Full stop.
It& #39;s not as easy as simply moving to another state. There are so many pockets of places that are gay friendly but not black friendly. Anywhere I go I always think & #39;am I going to be the only black person?& #39;
Am I going to be the only black person in whatever neighborhood Kris and I decide to live in based on our income? Am I going to be the only black person my neighbors see and therefore be the & #39;I& #39;m not racist, I have a black neighbor& #39;, neighbor?
I& #39;m tired. I& #39;m so tired of having to think these things and worry about them. I& #39;m tired of knowing there isn& #39;t, collectively, enough compassion in this country for black people. Michael Che has a whole part in his comedy show that speaks about Black Lives.
We& #39;re not asking for equal rights. We& #39;re just asking for civility. Stop killing us. That& #39;s all. We& #39;re not even AT rights yet. Stop. Killing. Us.

I sit in the car when Kris goes into the store sometimes and I have to hope no one finds that fucking offensive because of my color.
I don& #39;t understand how anyone below billionaire/millionaire status can still be for this administration that doesn& #39;t give a single flying fuck about them, and the president would just as soon wipe his ass with their donation money than ever lift a finger to fucking help them.
I& #39;m disgusted with this country. I don& #39;t want to be here.

So how can I also be excited and happy about something while in the same breath worry about a dozen things that only matter because of the color of my skin?
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