Spoilers for The Devil All The Time (that fancy Netflix drama-thriller movie with Robert Downey Jr. & Tom Holland) below, so don't read the next tweet in this chain if that bugs you.

This fucking movie has a man MURDER HIS SON'S DOG as a ritual sacrifice to try and turn God's anger away from his wife. I... What the fuck, The Devil All The Time? And to be clear, the characters in question are Christian. Like... WHAT?

I... Am shook. Just...

Now, this kid's dad (the aforementioned husband) killed himself!? What the fuck is this movie?

Oh hey Sebastian Stan in this movie. He's a cop though so... Yeah.

Some batshit religious nutjob is now practicing human sacrifice and his victim is his nice lady friend who just wanted to be his friendly Christian-wife and I just... I knew this was a dark movie, but what in the actual fuck?

He is now trying to resurrect her... Spoiler: it doesn't work.

And now... some asshole with a gun wants the weird killer who tried to resurrect his murder-victim to cuckold him by having sex with his wife. I... The murdery-jackass was killed, thankfully, but like... this movie has too many threads. Every plot is a B-plot.

We are FORTY-FIVE MINUTES IN and we just got our first glimpse of Tom-Holland. This movie is almost two and a half hours long. That's a lot of build-up for Spider-Man.

Tom Holland's country accent? Not bad. I mean... not good, but not bad either.

Robert Pattison is the preacher man... I actually didn't know that until just now.

Not the preacher-man shaming the protagonists for being poor. Preacher-man is over y'all!

Oh no Pattison invited one of the protagonists to spend some time alone with him! So far every time a man has invited a female character to spend some time alone the man turns out to be the worst kind of religious person in movies & performs a sacrifice or some other freaky shit.

I was RIGHT. This fucking movie y'all.