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if someone, a survivor no less, indulges in toxic behaviour, is it so hard to understand that this is a trauma-born compulsion and that only love, support and nurture will help free them of it?
Laughing at them certainly won& #39;t.
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Laughing at them certainly won& #39;t.
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I am a survivor. When i was absolutely riddled with cPTSD, throughout my teens and 20s, i myself engaged in toxic behaviour.
i took drugs
i lied
on occasion, i stole
i FOUGHT LIKE CRAZY with everyone around me, pushed so many people away
why? becos i was & #39;ToXiC aF& #39;
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i took drugs
i lied
on occasion, i stole
i FOUGHT LIKE CRAZY with everyone around me, pushed so many people away
why? becos i was & #39;ToXiC aF& #39;
2/?
this is self-sabotage. a common effect of PTSD. The survivor becomes SUBCONSCIOUSLY convinced that they aren& #39;t worthy of love, and couple this with trust issues (bcos natch) and its potency increases.
Some people HAD to walk away from me. I understand that. Completely.
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Some people HAD to walk away from me. I understand that. Completely.
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walking away is one (VALID) thing, sticking around to criticise only convinced me i was right, that i was toxic and undeserving of love.
so i CONTINUED. My self-saboteur, combined with my dissociation and sense of foreshortened future, took complete control of me.
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so i CONTINUED. My self-saboteur, combined with my dissociation and sense of foreshortened future, took complete control of me.
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You know what encouraged me to stop?
LOVE
COMPASSION
UNDERSTANDING
SUPPORT
these things tell us that, in fact, the screaming PTSD banshees are wrong. they told me i was fixable. maybe, one day, loveable.
and you know what? (you do)
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LOVE
COMPASSION
UNDERSTANDING
SUPPORT
these things tell us that, in fact, the screaming PTSD banshees are wrong. they told me i was fixable. maybe, one day, loveable.
and you know what? (you do)
5/?
i healed. i loved myself and i trusted others who wanted to love me too.
and that& #39;s just facts. it is how it works. you might not want it to be, but it is.
and this is why i will NEVER turn my back on a survivor. NEVER tell them they are undeserving of love.
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and that& #39;s just facts. it is how it works. you might not want it to be, but it is.
and this is why i will NEVER turn my back on a survivor. NEVER tell them they are undeserving of love.
6/?
