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Happy bisexual visibility day!
Why would such a day be needed? There's no straight visibility day, right?
Because *in*visibility is a huge problem for bisexual people.
It's almost like we don't exist...
A thread for #bivisibilityday2020
Why would such a day be needed? There's no straight visibility day, right?
Because *in*visibility is a huge problem for bisexual people.
It's almost like we don't exist...
A thread for #bivisibilityday2020
But first, what do I mean by bisexual?*
My favourite definition comes from the legendary bi activist @robynochs, who writes...
*by the way, can you think of many other sexual orientations where this kind of explanation would be necessary?
My favourite definition comes from the legendary bi activist @robynochs, who writes...
*by the way, can you think of many other sexual orientations where this kind of explanation would be necessary?
Fact is, one of the most pernicious biphobic myths is that this whole sexual orientation isn't real.
Imagine living your life attracted to people of more than one gender, and then being constantly told that you're just "confused", "attention seeking", or worse, lying.
Imagine living your life attracted to people of more than one gender, and then being constantly told that you're just "confused", "attention seeking", or worse, lying.
Straightness is everywhere.
It's in almost every film, show, song, book, or poem you ever read.
Bisexuality not so much.
Bisexuals are hardly represented in media at all.
Bi's in same-sex relationships get "read" as gay/lesbian; in opposite-sex ones, they're seen as straight.
It's in almost every film, show, song, book, or poem you ever read.
Bisexuality not so much.
Bisexuals are hardly represented in media at all.
Bi's in same-sex relationships get "read" as gay/lesbian; in opposite-sex ones, they're seen as straight.
Bisexuals are lucky in that they experience a whole world of attraction, beyond gender.
But we also experience plenty of judgement & stigma.
From straight culture, sure, but also, at times, from within the LGBT community, as @nintendomad888 explains here: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/vaneet-speaks-about-bisexualmenexist-and-why-bi-visibility-so-important
But we also experience plenty of judgement & stigma.
From straight culture, sure, but also, at times, from within the LGBT community, as @nintendomad888 explains here: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/vaneet-speaks-about-bisexualmenexist-and-why-bi-visibility-so-important
Bi invisibility is related to the problem of bisexual erasure.
This seminal (or ovarian?) academic essay by @kenji_yoshino outlines the generalised social and cultural erasure of bisexuality:
https://www.ilga-europe.org/sites/default/files/yoshino_2000_the_epistemic_contract_of_bisecsual_erasure.pdf
If yr feeling lazy check this out: https://www.bustle.com/p/5-myths-about-bisexuality-that-contribute-to-bi-erasure-2418689
This seminal (or ovarian?) academic essay by @kenji_yoshino outlines the generalised social and cultural erasure of bisexuality:
https://www.ilga-europe.org/sites/default/files/yoshino_2000_the_epistemic_contract_of_bisecsual_erasure.pdf
If yr feeling lazy check this out: https://www.bustle.com/p/5-myths-about-bisexuality-that-contribute-to-bi-erasure-2418689
There are oodles of famous bi people, plenty you'd definitely know. But I bet you didn't know half of them were bi.
But even when bisexuals come out, they're often questioned or disbelieved, and regularly face stigma and prejudice... even the celebs.
https://bi.org/en/famous
But even when bisexuals come out, they're often questioned or disbelieved, and regularly face stigma and prejudice... even the celebs.
https://bi.org/en/famous
That's why it's important for those bisexuals who can safely be out (many can't) to stick their heads above the parapet.
I'm lucky to work at a place where the boss did just that a few years ago. It was an important thing for lots of ppl: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-41946549
I'm lucky to work at a place where the boss did just that a few years ago. It was an important thing for lots of ppl: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-41946549
Bisexuals are often even invisible to themselves.
It takes many bi's much longer to understand their own sexuality because we "see" people like us so seldom in our everyday lives or on our screens.
This fantastic pod from @NichiHodgson addresses this https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p059lylf
It takes many bi's much longer to understand their own sexuality because we "see" people like us so seldom in our everyday lives or on our screens.
This fantastic pod from @NichiHodgson addresses this https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p059lylf
This rather lovely, anonymous, @Medium blog shows what this kind of struggle is like for a middle-aged woman who came out years into her monogamous, opposite-sex marriage. https://medium.com/s/story/married-monogamous-and-bisexual-abeaf97ac9cb
https://medium.com/s/story/married-monogamous-and-bisexual-abeaf97ac9cb
That piece 
challenges another nasty biphobic myth: that bisexuals are cheaters, and can't stay in a relationship because they can never be satisfied being with only one of the genders.
Here's more evidence to show this up as BS. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/dating-decisions/201405/3-myths-about-bisexuality-debunked-science
challenges another nasty biphobic myth: that bisexuals are cheaters, and can't stay in a relationship because they can never be satisfied being with only one of the genders.Here's more evidence to show this up as BS.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/dating-decisions/201405/3-myths-about-bisexuality-debunked-science
But not all bi's are as lucky as the woman in the @Medium post above.
This research shows that 1/3 of men who disclose their sexuality while in an opposite sex relationship get dumped because of the shame and special stigma attached to male bisexuality: https://bi.org/en/articles/women-report-that-bisexual-men-make-better-lovers-fathers-and-partners
This research shows that 1/3 of men who disclose their sexuality while in an opposite sex relationship get dumped because of the shame and special stigma attached to male bisexuality: https://bi.org/en/articles/women-report-that-bisexual-men-make-better-lovers-fathers-and-partners
The good news from this research: those "out" bi men who are accepted by their partners seem to make better fathers, lovers, and partners than hetero men.
This is explained by a willingness to think and act outside restrictive sexist gender norms & roles. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/zmbn8x/what-its-really-like-for-women-to-date-bisexual-men
This is explained by a willingness to think and act outside restrictive sexist gender norms & roles. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/zmbn8x/what-its-really-like-for-women-to-date-bisexual-men
Because of stuff like this, though, it's no wonder that so so many bisexuals are closeted, and feel unable to live their sexual identity in the open.
75% of gay and lesbian people are "out" to those closest to them compared with just 19% of bi's.
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/18/bisexual-adults-are-far-less-likely-than-gay-men-and-lesbians-to-be-out-to-the-people-in-their-lives/ft_19-06-18_bisexuals_bisexuals-far-less-likely-to-be-out-to-important-people-in-their-life/
75% of gay and lesbian people are "out" to those closest to them compared with just 19% of bi's.
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/18/bisexual-adults-are-far-less-likely-than-gay-men-and-lesbians-to-be-out-to-the-people-in-their-lives/ft_19-06-18_bisexuals_bisexuals-far-less-likely-to-be-out-to-important-people-in-their-life/
When bi's *are* represented, or talked about, it's often in the most nasty & stigmatising of ways.
We're used to thinking about white-, male-, or straight privilege. But there's a "mono sexual privilege", too, as @ShiriEisner has discussed in this piece: https://radicalbi.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/the-monosexual-privilege-checklist/
We're used to thinking about white-, male-, or straight privilege. But there's a "mono sexual privilege", too, as @ShiriEisner has discussed in this piece: https://radicalbi.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/the-monosexual-privilege-checklist/
Lots of the ways bis are marginalised are shared by other groups, but many are unique to people attracted to more than one gender.
The flip-side of privilege is oppression, and this list sheds light on the staggering list of injustices faced by many bisexual people.
The flip-side of privilege is oppression, and this list sheds light on the staggering list of injustices faced by many bisexual people.
The consequence of erasure and stigmatisation is incredibly painful for many.
Bisexual women are staggeringly more at risk from sexual violence and domestic abuse than straight or lesbian women. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/why-bisexual-women-are-at-a-higher-risk-for-violence
Bisexual women are staggeringly more at risk from sexual violence and domestic abuse than straight or lesbian women. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/why-bisexual-women-are-at-a-higher-risk-for-violence
Bisexual men *and* women have a higher risk of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, suicidality and addiction even when compared with lesbian or gay ppl.
The comparison with the averages for straight people is just tragic. https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/news-and-features/blogs/detail/special-interest-groups/2020/06/19/bisexual-mental-health
The comparison with the averages for straight people is just tragic. https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/news-and-features/blogs/detail/special-interest-groups/2020/06/19/bisexual-mental-health
Oops I only came in to post a nice pic to #bivisibilityday & I seem to have done a mega-long misery thread instead.
All this nasty stuff doesn't define us; we're defined by our pride and uniquely open worldview.
But, like bisexuals, this should be more visible.
Tell yr friends.
All this nasty stuff doesn't define us; we're defined by our pride and uniquely open worldview.
But, like bisexuals, this should be more visible.
Tell yr friends.
Need help or support figuring out your sexuality? Think you might be bi? check out a local bi community group: https://bicommunitynews.co.uk/local-groups/
In Wales, look up @BiWales.
For details abt mental health support for LGBT ppl in Wales go here: https://www.lgbtcymru.org.uk
In Wales, look up @BiWales.
For details abt mental health support for LGBT ppl in Wales go here: https://www.lgbtcymru.org.uk
