When I was in 4th grade I had a thing for navy blue shirts. my mom got me 10 of the same plain blue shirt and I wore one to school nearly every single day. one day my teacher pulled me aside and told me that I can’t wear the same shirt to school every day.
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I told her that it’s not the same shirt, it’s a different one each time and that my mom always makes sure to wash them before I wear them again. she said that she understands, but that my classmates might think I’m !dirty! so I should get new shirts.
she then called my parents and told them they had to leave work to come in for a meeting. when they arrived she repeated the same thing to them. SHE MADE MY PARENTS COME IN FROM WORK TO TELL THEM THEIR 9yo DAUGHTER COULDN’T WEAR THE SAME COLOR SHIRT TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY.
Not only that, but she took the meeting as an opportunity to tell my parents they had to start doing my hair better. She said she understood, because she also had curly hair, but that they needed to buy hair product and make sure it wasn’t messy when I came to school.
Not a single one of my classmates ever noticed or cared about the clothes I wore or how my hair looked. But when adults tell you you should care about something, when they tell you there’s a right way to do something, kids will internalize it. Anyways, I didn’t internalize it.
I still wear the same clothes multiple days in a row (these days without even washing in between!) and my curly hair is often a bit messy. But I recently remembered this story and I’m just so mad thinking about how early adults ingrain this idea of professionalism in us.
If I, as a white woman from a well-off background experienced this so early on, I cannot even imagine how much worse it must have been for POC and those from more disadvantaged backgrounds. I don’t really have this thread as thought out as it should,
and I’m definitely not articulating my thoughts as well as I should, but I’m just angry. I don’t really know what else to say except for professionalism as it exists today is ridiculous and discriminatory.