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muntik nang mawala mga kaibigan ko dahil sa ka ex m.u ko
a thread;
a thread;
i made this thread to express my current emotion and situation, I also made it because I can& #39;t take it anymore. this is based from my own experiences but some events are modified to protect my identity so please bear with me :))
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I was in 3rd year high school, when I met this guy, a new classmate (from other section kase sya before), he is not talkative, he is reserved and nilalayo nya talaga ang sarili nya from the whole class, ako unang nakapansin non because I was the class president+++
Nung una akala ko kaya sya ganon ay dahil naninibago palang sya, syempre sya lang kase yung hindi namin kaklase last s.y. but I know something was off, I noticed it when we are having our english class, our teacher asked him and he can& #39;t answer back at isang mahabang homiliya+++
ang naging resulta non. So, as a class president I talked to him, I asked kung may hindi ba sya naiintindihan sa lessons, bakit hindi sya masyadong nakikijoin samin and bakit hindi sya sumagot kanina nung english time namin. At first akala ko hindi nya ako kakausapin kaya ++++
tatayo na dapat ako, pero natigilan ako sa sinagot nya & #39;I have panic attacks, kaya hindi ako nakasagot, inaatake ako, hanggang ngayon inaatake ako& #39; di ko alam ang gagawin ko kase mukha naman syang normal habang pinagmamasdan ko sya, tinanong ko sya kung pano sya magiging okay+++
pero ang sabi nya lang hayaan ko syang makahinga, I helped him breath evenly, I am shaking habang pinapakalma ko sya, I don& #39;t know what to do. But eventually, he said he& #39;s okay na hindi agad ako naniwala kaya I asked him again and he answered & #39;Yes, Ms. President, okay na ako& #39;+++
From then on tinulungan ko na syang maover come ang panic attacks nya, nagresearch ako kung anong pwedeng gawin para ma avoid ang panic attacks, he also teaches me math before because I suck at it, while I teach him to gain more confidence in public speaking+++
Don nagsimula ang friendship nameyn, kinukuwento ko sya sa mga best friends ko and sabi nila bat daw ang ansaya ko habang nagkukuwento, I knew from that day I fell for him, I got attracted. Months later he confessed that he also like me, I& #39;m so happy back then, pero alam ko ang++
limitations ko noon, na hindi pa pwede kaya I asked him to wait for me. We are okay for the next months, super galante, super maalaga pero nalaman ng family ko na merong nanliligaw sakin they got mad and tell me to make him stop the courtship. I don& #39;t want that to happen but++++
they will force me na lumipat ng school, malayo sa mga best friends ko, malayo sa mga taong alam kong totoong susuporta sakin. so I made something to make him stop. I don& #39;t directly tell or chat him na ayoko na, I asked my cousin to chat him and tell him na naiipit na ako++++
sa bahay namin, it ended but it id pretty fucked up, hindi na kami nagpapansinan sa school and we try to avoid each other. I don& #39;t know ang alam ko kasi yun na lang dati yung choice ko+++
years later, I am a 2nd year college, sa isang university sa province ko. Wala na kaming contact sa isa& #39;t isa and I know that it is over, wala na rin tung feelings ko sa kanya cause narealize ko na ang immature ko pa nun and hindi pa ako ganun ka ayos masgdesisyon sa buhay+++
My 2 bestest childhood bestfriends ang naging kasangga ko sa mga nkaraang taon, yung isa kong kaibigan stressedt kadalasan sa acads while yung isa stressedt sa manliligaw nya, although hindi pa namin kilala ang manliligaw ni ate (tawag ko sakanya kase mas matanda sya) pero hindi+
na agad ako boto sa kanya. Dumaan na lang ang ilang buwan at sinabi na ni ate na sinagot nya na yung manliligaw nya, nung una nagtatampo ako sakanya kasi syempre di pa nya naipapakilala samin tapos sinagot nya na agad, pero sa kabilang banda, okay na rin kasi sila naman ang++++
nagmamahalan kaya sila na lang magkaintindihan BWAHAHH, so nag decide si ate na mameet namen ang jowa nya kasi susunduin daw sya nito, kami naman nitong isa pa naming best friend kinikilig pra kay ate, nagiintay kami nun ng biglang may kumulbit sakin, I froze when I saw the one++
who poked me, it& #39;s my ex m.u/ ex suitor pero mas kinagulat ko niyakap at hinalikan nya sa noo ang bestfriend ko. hindi ko alam ang gagwin ko, hindi kailanman nakilala nina ate ang dati kong manliligaw kaya hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Natauhan lang ako ng sabihin nilang++
tara kain sa mcdo. I knew from that time kailangan ko ng magtapat kay ate at dabihing yon ang ex m.u ko para hindi na sya mag mukhang tanga pag bigla akong nag attitude sa harap nila+++
and finally I said it, she was okay with it naman daw and past is past and I felt at ease kaso ang problema ko kinukulit ako ng boyfriend nya/ ex suitor ko. he often checks how i fell or how was my day. akala ko nung una nangangamusta lang, syempre antagal rin nameng hindi+++
nagkita pero hindi, lagi syang nagchachat, ayoko ng ganito, ayoko ng naiipit kaya iniscreenshot ko ang convo naming dalawa at sinend ko kay ate. Ate was fuming mad before as in hindi ko sya makausap sarado ang tenga at isip nya sa explanation ko, kahit alam ko naman na hindi+++
ako ang may kasalanan. I waited for ate to cool down pero ang hindi ko inaasahan ay nakipaghiwalay sya sa boyfriend nya She didn& #39;t want to talk about it but I know she just did it kahit mahal na mahal nya kasi sobra syang nasaktan. she disn& #39;t blame me pero I always blame myself++
hanggang ngayon ganun pa rin lalo na ng mabalitaan ni ate na nagkakapanic attacks na ulit yung ex boyfriend nya na ex suitor ko. Hindi ko alam pero feeling kk ako ang may kasalanan kase kung wala naman ako hindi naman sila magkakahiwalay. I dont know if okay na sila wala na+++++
balita, but sana maging okay na.
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