On this Bi Visibility Day I’d like to remind you that there is no one way to be bi. Bi people can be any gender, we can be cis or trans, we can be ace or aro or allo, and we can be any race or religion or ethnicity imaginable.

Some bi people are monogamous, some bi people are poly, some bi people don’t do relationships at all. Some bi people see themselves as straight, while other bi people prefer to self label as gay or lesbian, largely due to their romantic attractions and community affiliations.

There’s no right or wrong way for you to be bi. Anyone who tells you that your bi identity necessitates a specific label or behavior is projecting their own insecurities onto you. The joy of being bi is being free to embrace your whole self.

Also, while I recognize the irony of saying this on Bi Visibility Day — you don’t have to own the bi label to embrace and love your biness. I was uncomfortable with the label for a long time, and have only aggressively taken it up because it feels politically important.

Bi visibility is a means to an end, not an end unto itself. The actual desired endpoint is one where no one feels policed and locked into boxes because of their present or past sexual behavior (or lack thereof), where everyone is free to be who they need to be in this moment.

Anyway I hate hashtags but since I would like this to be seen, HAPPY #BiVisibilityDay!

Anyway, yeah, if your takeaway from today is “Wow now I understand that there are *three* ways to be human: straight, gay, *and* bi,” you have failed