today fucked with me. lots of good things happened, but i did not have a good day*. in the morning i'm taking the day off after i get these notes typed up. and i'm also going to eat ice cream

*(this is not abt my friends i saw in the afternoon, i liked that part of today v much)

i do not like hurting people even when i'm making the right choice to take care of myself and my own mental health

i know i'm doing the right thing but i'm still hurting people and i hate that

also i feel really sad when i stand up for ppl but when i need support it feels like they just leave me behind. idk why they do that? maybe it's because, to protect myself and be less vulnerable, i project this image that i don't need help & that i'm a strong and confident person

but sometimes i'm not & i wish the ppl that i stand up for would stand up for me too

maybe i just need to stop going out of my way to build ppl up who apparently either see me as a threat or just don't give a fuck about me

also idk bc of recent events i feel compelled to say that this thread is abt my personal life unrelated to the Black Lives Matter movement and it's my timeline and it helps me to vent on here

i"ll probably delete this later tho im tired as fuck and this thread is petty as fuck and i'm just gonna go ahead and lower my expectations for ppl from now on