So with everything else going on, I realise this isn't exactly the most important issue facing the world right now. But since today is Bi visibility day I wanted to take some time to talk about visibility, why understanding bisexuality is important and why it matters to me. (1/?)
It took me 20 years to realise I was bi, yes because I am "big dumb" (technical term), but primarily because of the lack of visibility and general understanding about bisexuality, and the pervasiveness of the idea that bi people are confused or just doing it "for attention".
I wasn't even involved in queer discourse online as a teen and even I had a vague conception of the phantom "straight woman who pretends to be bi for attention and appropriates lesbian/LGBTQ+ spaces".
I just desperately didn't want to be that person, so I never even allowed myself to question whether it made me not straight TM to be attracted to women. Up until two years ago I used to say things like "I used to have a 'straight crush' on my best friend"
The only way I could possibly describe it was as a crush, because that was exactly what it felt like, but I also liked boys, so I called it "straight"...
All because I didn't want people to think I was trying to illegitimately gain access to queer spaces, or worse, to "trick" "real" wlw into dating me when I'm just a fake who likes men.
I don't know where I got these ideas from specifically, but I've since been online enough to see so much biphobic nonsense (both inside and outside the community) that I can be pretty sure they were widespread enough to influence me even when I was far less involved in discourse.
So, um, if people could just be less biphobic, and less dickish in general, I'm sure a lot of young queer and questioning people would appreciate it.