Thread by @myo_caron, memory loss au where sakuatsu kept their relationship a secret, but then [...]

memory loss au where sakuatsu kept their relationship a secret, but then sakusa loses his memory. their teammates and friends think he shouldn't be left alone with atsumu because were always arguing. they never not along, not in high school and not in msby, right?

atsumu doesn't approach sakusa. all of their friends tell him to stay away; why should he be selfish? what if he wasn't happy with atsumu? but as sakusa recovers, he can't figure out why he feels so lonely. all he knows is the guy komori warned him about isn't talking to him.

when sakusa returns to MSBY, his teammates insist on spending time with him after practice. sakusa can't remember the last two years, and his teammates tell him the friendship they once had with him doesn't matter if they can just become friends with sakusa again.

he goes to bokuto's apartment to watch tapes of their old high school games against each other. he goes to dinner with inukai and is pleasantly surprised when the restaurant fits his cleanliness standards. he goes on a small tour of the city MSBY is based in with meian.

his teammates are reluctant to let him go with atsumu. they've cycled through everyone else twice already, and sakusa hasn't quite managed to sync up with atsumu during practice. meian reminds atsumu to not torment sakusa before leaving them alone in the locker room.

atsumu doesn't bring him anywhere fancy. he walks home to his apartment and sakusa, unsure of what else to do, follows. he wordlessly toes off his shoes in atsumu's entryway and pumps a dollop of hand sanitizer into his palm from the conveniently placed bottle by the shoe rack.

for all of the stories he's been told about the fights he used to have with atsumu, atsumu has been silent ever since sakusa lost his memories of the past two years. atsumu's still silent now as he retrieves and sanitizes a bottle of water and a pack of umeboshi candy for sakusa.

barnes had showed him MSBY's old games. atsumu's smile was larger than life and his laugh filled the entire gym in every match.

sakusa looks around atsumu's apartment and sees half empty bookshelves and photo frames missing pictures and wonders where that happy atsumu went.

"i lost someone," atsumu explains when sakusa asks about the empty frames. his face scrunches in pain, pangs of guilt washing over sakusa. "and they're not coming back."

"did i know them?"

atsumu finally smiles. it's small and wistful and heartbreaking. "yeah, you did sakusa."

sakusa wonders why they ever fought when atsumu just seems so lonely. he wants to smooth out the wrinkles in atsumu's face and cup his face in his hands and tell him he'll be okay.

but why would atsumu want comfort from sakusa? sakusa finishes his water and snack and leaves.

life continues. sakusa doesn't get his memories back, but it's easy to befriend and find a family in his teammates again. he goes back home to tokyo to see his parents in his free time and talks to komori about how he's been ever since he woke up one day not knowing what happened

komori sets him up on a date with ushijima and tells him how much sakusa used to admire him. his teammates cheerfully text him to have fun, and even atsumu manages to wish him good luck. but sakusa looks at the man he's supposed to love and feels nothing stirring in his heart.

when he returns to osaka, he finds a photograph under his desk. it must have fallen out of a photo album or a picture frame sometime, and sakusa hadn't realized until now. it can't be that important if he didn't know it was missing. he sighs, crawling under the desk to pick it up

it's a picture of atsumu.

it's a picture of atsumu with the big bright smile sakusa has only ever seen in the middle of a volleyball match. and yet atsumu is giving that smile to the camera as photograph sakusa nuzzles his head into atsumu's neck and loops an arm around atsumu.

sakusa doesn't get his memory back when he sees the photo, but he desperately wishes he did, because he wants to know what a happy atsumu looks like, how that beautiful, warm smile looks when it's directed towards him. the photograph makes his heart soar and then plummet.

"i was the one you lost," sakusa says when atsumu picks up his call. atsumu hangs up. sakusa scrambles to call atsumu again, and after 3 tries, atsumu finally answers again.

"i don't want ya thinkin' yer obligated to stay with me," atsumu says. he sounds tired.

"go date ushiwaka. spill your secrets to komori. start a new life now that ya don't need me. because sakusa, ya really don't need me, not anymore."

sakusa has never heard a bigger lie. "don't assume anything about me. maybe i don't need you, but i want you in my life."

"i really, really want you atsumu. so don't say this call is out of obligation or that i can just start over. how can i be with anyone else when i know you're the best choice for me?"

atsumu lets out a shaky laugh. it sounds like he might be crying. sakusa's about to cry too.

"ya don't remember me omi-kun. what do we do?"

"we make more memories. we come together again. we start over. because i don't know what has happened in the last two years, but i know you were the best thing that happened to me in them. so give me a chance again atsumu."

atsumu is definitely crying on the other end of the call. sakusa thinks he'd be sobbing too if he thought lost the love of his life for good. as it is, there are tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"i'd like that. i'd really like to start over again."

"be my boyfriend atsumu."

sakusa finally gets to hear that golden laugh. it might just be worth waiting all this time for.

"yes. yes for however many times i need to find ya."

"i'm not going anywhere without you."

and sakusa has no intention of ever forgetting atsumu again.

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