I was on a panel today at UBC SCARP to talk about professionalism, and I regret not pushing back on some comments about dress code. So I’ll share them here

I started out my remarks by saying that what’s considered professional is defined by a small subset of society, and professionalism rules are applied unevenly because we unfortunately live in a sexist, racist, ableist and colonial society.

Per Sara N Ahmed’s “she who poses the problem becomes the problem”, even talking about inequity in professionalism can result in you being deemed unprofessional. It’s a self-reinforcement power structure that favours cishet white men.

So I left my remarks there and went on to talk specifically about kick-off meetings, scoping, quality/cost controls etc which was the focus. But an organizer asked another panelist about over/under dressing and suggestions there. And here’s where I should have butted in

Because if you’re racialized or disabled or femme you will be judged in the workplace by a completely different set of standards regarding appearance. It’s unfair and it’s a reality each individual has to make their own peace with. The other panelist gave an example of

a male student who came into the office in let’s say student-wear and everyone in the office was like who was that guy??? I was struck by a lot in that story- about what was/wasn’t said and to whom and how multiple people just let that behaviour happen

Because in my experience multiple junior women have been criticized to the point of tears about (the perfectly fine) outfit they are wearing to work while more senior, male colleagues (with client meetings!) basically wear flipflops and sweatpants or work pants.

The whole idea of professionalism is a convenient lie made up to penalize people who don’t support status quo power structures. It’s used to signal class, education, etc. For people just starting out in office work, this needs to be acknowledged so that they have

The knowledge and skills to make it work for them. My advice to racialized, disabled and/or femme folks is to overdress (but affordably) to keep your job and get your pay raises and promotions (get paid your worth!) but find ways to keep your dignity and humanity

I ended up in therapy a few years ago for lots of reasons, and one thing that stands out now was I felt like a fake person playing a role. I told my therapist that I just wanted to be free to have “mermaid hair” & where that came from was a whole closet of heels, pencil skirts

Feeling like a costume I was putting on for some professional role that had earned me a lucrative but deeply unsatisfying position. I had optimized a set of bland clothes that gender conformed to the degree that I was no longer being sexually harassed at work about my appearance

So I had lost my dignity & humanity in a sea of leather, wool & silk. In this way I don’t have good advice when it comes to dress codes because it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But we should at least unpack why that is & what it takes to succeed in those conditions

I will tell you now that I wear flats and pants and crazy ass shirts/tops that were not considered professional in my previous life, but I’m so much happier for it now

Tressie McMillan Cottom’s Thick gets into how a woman wasn’t hired because of a top she wore to an interview and how women police each other on this. And Roxane Gay’s writing also talks about the “unruliness” of a fat, Black body and how professional are so hostile to that

Because while I could gendershift with an outfit and some makeup to the degree my soul could take it, it’s something else to confront ableism and racism in the workplace & talking about dresss code feels trite and superficial in that light