Things you could do instead

- Nair in their shampoo

- hide thumb tacs in their room so they step on them

- Use their tooth brush to scrub something nasty

- itching powder in their clothes and underwear

- replace perfume or cologne with mouth wash https://twitter.com/wilddere/status/1308512779519787011

- replace their gum with play-doh

- cut holes in their favorite clothes

- train their pets to shit on their stuff

- steal, break, hide their favorite things one by one

- remember the date you guys broke up so you could text them “happy break up anniversary”

and text them a porno clip of you and your current s/o ^

- cover their stuff with glitter and spray setting spray on it so they’ll have a hard time trying to get it off <3

- poke holes in their condoms

- shred their important pieces of papers

- get them some food and put laxatives in it