Feeling very irritable tonight....... tried to give up smoking some time ago and fell apart during lockdown. I felt I had to give up then rather than deep down wanted to..... 24 hrs without nicotine but his time I really, deep down want to stop.

100% determined I will win

I was talking to a labour friend whilst dog walking today and told her how this year has been tough living on my own feeling totally isolated but I’ve gotten through. Faced with another six months of not seeing family and close friends, another six months without another human

hug is actually getting me feeling very anxious and I’m not one for feeling anything but strong.

I think I can finally say with absolute conviction that I can use the word hate towards other human beings....I hate with every fibre of my body the @Conservatives any

@UKLabour saboteurs #LabourLeak staffers who sat Johnson and Cummings in No10.

Having had the night to mull over my statement about the conservatives and saboteurs from the Labour Party and my claim that I hate them. Hate is a strong word I have always had trouble with pinning on people....hate is for a food, a poisonous plant, pain it should not be applied

to human beings but for the first time in my life I’m doing just that and I truly hate that I have been driven to hating some people.

It doesn’t sit right with me but right now I cannot feel any other way to these evil people and the suffering they’re putting on us all.

On the

positive side I started this thread by saying I was giving up smoking. Last time I tried giving up I managed months and in all that time I struggled with cravings but I wanted to give up giving up....lockdown justified me smoking again I convinced myself.

This morning is the

second morning and there was no craving...... I’ve been to the shop and was not interested in getting any tobacco..... I’m just not interested and the difference is, I want to be tobacco free so bad.