1/18 let’s talk about the popularity of beefleaf, the scorn of xuexiao, and the absolute complicity in ableism that exists online. for context, i started talking about this the other day, *before* this new xuexiao (or rlly just xy) drama, that’s happening today. my thoughts on it

2/18 were heated, but had not yet become as fully formed as they are now. i knew there was *something* here, but it felt just out of my reach. now i know what it is. both he xuan and xue yang do truly terrible things because of their trauma. they both do terrible things to the

3/18 people everyone claims they love (sqx and xxc). but one of these ships is widely accepted and beloved, and the other is considered toxic, problematic, and is scorned. why? both hx and xy manipulate sqx and xxc, as well as shi wudu and song lan, in order to get what they want

4/18 both hx and xy pit sqx and xxc against swd and sl as a way to punish them and make them hurt. so why is one so popular while the other is widely considered problematic and toxic? why are there ppl with hx icons, ppl hailing beefleaf as one of their fav ships, saying if you

5/18 like xy you need therapy, saying the xuexiao is toxic? (before you say that's not true,,,i have screenshots. i'm not gonna drag ppl, but i have screenshots. i have witnesses. i have been gathering evidence today, and really this thread wrote itself in what ppl had to say)

6/18 the answer is in the "you need therapy" argument. it's ableism. it's the casual ableism that often exists in media, in fandoms, the ableism against those who are mentally ill, those who's illnesses are more stigmatized. now, i'm gonna be transparent with you guys

7/18 i know what i'm talking about here. i have bpd and ocd. borderline personality disorder. yes, that one. the "manipulation" disorder. i am well versed in the casual ableism of "scary" mental illnesses (bpd) versus "acceptable" ones (ocd).

8/18 and the thing is, ppl are able to dismiss hx's trauma. they reduce him to a tragic love story. they make his- and sqx's- entire story about beefleaf, instead of about the fundamentals of classicism and betrayal. in a way, their story is very similar to 3zun's, who i love

9/18 hx has trauma, yes, and likely is mentally ill. but it's presented in a way ppl find palatable, bc he's lived so long now that it's muted in his head. it's- he's- resigned to it, and so it's presentation is something ppl can and do ignore

10/18 however, xy's mental illness is not something ignorable. it dictates his every action, his very thought process. personally, i feel as though xue yang very much seems like he has untreated bpd. and ppl's responses to him online really do remind me of the ableism you see in

11/18 everyday life. i have seen so many ppl talk about how all he lost was a couple of fingers. how his overreaction was so extreme, how his trauma is not that great. xy is treated every bit the part of the bad mentally ill patient, of the bad survivor, or someone who just won't

12/18 behave in a way you deem palatable for mental illness. his mental illness is not hideable- you can't just stuff it down as "yeah he has trauma but look at this relationship instead" bc his unresolved trauma, his mental illness

13/18 (bc some illnesses, like bpd, are born out of trauma) dictate how he behaves, how he loves. and yes, there is just as much if not more evidence than there is for hx and sqx that xy did love xxc in his own way, especially at the end. but in the end, there will always be

14/18 ppl to say "you need therapy", ppl to hate on xy and love hx, bc in the end ppl have not lost their ableism, their hatred and stigma towards the mentally ill, and if you can't present you illness, your trauma, in a loveable and palatable way to the masses, in a way that

15/18 makes you the favorite, that makes you relatable to most people, then it's toxic, it's not wanted here, no matter how much it is a real depiction. this isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last, that we see this in fandom responses to media. but it’s so stark, so

16/18 readily apparent, when you can sit and compare hx and xy and realize just how much the hatred of xy is rooted in ableism. now, again, for full transparency’s sake- i love beefleaf. i love xuexiao. i love songxuexiao, and 3zun too. i just think if you’re going to call one

17/18 problematic, then you need to call them all problematic, and if you can’t, then you maybe need to look inward on why xy, the man who murdered a clan, is problematic, but hx, the demon who decapitated someone with his bare hands and tortured sqx and swd, isn’t problematic

18/18 and you love beefleaf and hate xuexiao,,,,maybe it’s time to do some self-reflection on your own privilege and ableism

special shoutout to @lanzhan_mp3 for letting me bounce thread thoughts off of her, @whatwouldwwxdo for listening to my angry ranting, and @jinsguangyao and @agustchengmei for helping me do research on what ppl have been saying