Ingatkan toxic culture budak agama habis takat sekolah je, rupanya ada lagi kat uni. Masa kat rcmp i was a member of ibnu sina club, the obly yizlumic club there. Masa first year joined this spiritual camp, buat kat tepi sungai mana tah, bermalam dalam khemah (I don’t mind that

Sebab seronok juga kan). Then come this one slot, at 4am kena bangun explorace. Sampai this one station kena buat mutabaah amal (checklist amal ibadat). I was far behind the other participant, ye lah bukan warok sangat pun huhu. Pastu fasi yang jaga station tu start asking me

Why (interrogating and downgrading me). Macam liqa zaman sekolah tu. I just kept quiet. Then ada nyamuk kat pipi so I just lightly tampar sikit. Then she like “ha bagus tampar diri sendiri bagi sedar sikit” like sis that is so stupid and I felt humiliated.

Akhir program, they asked for live feedback. So i told them, bagitau la participants tempat program macam mana sebab ada participants tak cukup keperluan camping (yes they didnt tell us). Tau ketua program cakap apa? That dude said, nak jadi pendakwah kena sentiasa bersedia lah

Tengok aku selalu bawak barang spare dalam bonet kereta in case ada program mana2. Like dude aint nobody so entitled like you got car some more untuk letak barang fgs. Mintak feedback tapi taknak kalah bodoh betul.

The next year I participated, again, sebab ingat program lain. Time tu lagi ramai participants. And I pergi drive sendiri dah ada kereta pinjam parents. Rupanya tempat sama. That night masa ice breaking, fasi asked sape joined last year and tanya how was it. So I angkat tangan

And I literally said, I hated it so much, yes I said that, in front of all participants. And I told the whole story, how I felt so stupid and humiliated. Like how i hated liqa during secondary school and never wanted to experience that again. I broke down depan semua participants

And I literally said macam tu ke lorang berdakwah? If yes, then that made me feel further than you. And I said saya nak balik. Yes, I said that. Saya nak balik. Had enough of the stupid camp. Esoknya pagi2 i drove back to ipoh, dah tak kisah pasal barang2 yang fasi minta tumpang

masa otw datang (i brought them sebab kereta luas). You and your stupid camp can go to hell. Never have i felt so satisfied venting that right there and then depan semua participants. Maybe sebab zaman sekolah kan takut2, dah besar kot ni, layan la macam orang dewasa.

Yang kelakarnya I was the naib president of the club sape tah undi smh
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