experiencing a sort of come-to-jesus moment where I realize that I subject myself to the pain that I thought the world was subjecting me to. this sounds vaguely profound in the abstract but it& #39;s actually about deadlines and a sense of dread re: obligations

I could probably find some sort of way to blame capitalism for this, but if I extrapolate from what I& #39;ve learned about myself from experience, the truth is that I would find a way to torture myself in this arena even if I were 100% financially independent

I have multiple overdue deadlines that I entirely set for myself, and all I want to do is to go off on random tangents exploring random fun things. I don& #39;t even have a boss to get mad at. and my wife is supportive of my nonsense. so truly it boils down to a game of me vs me

thinking about a scene from Outer Worlds - Vicar Max& #39;s vision quest

"I& #39;m who you think you are. [...] I don& #39;t exist, yet you have judged yourself against me your whole life. Why do you berate yourself for not being me?"

https://twitter.com/halvorz/status/1300466339673501699">https://twitter.com/halvorz/s...

the hail mary move of doing work that& #39;s about how you& #39;re not doing work https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1308489873695809537">https://twitter.com/visakanv/...