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experiencing a sort of come-to-jesus moment where I realize that I subject myself to the pain that I thought the world was subjecting me to. this sounds vaguely profound in the abstract but it's actually about deadlines and a sense of dread re: obligations
I could probably find some sort of way to blame capitalism for this, but if I extrapolate from what I've learned about myself from experience, the truth is that I would find a way to torture myself in this arena even if I were 100% financially independent
I have multiple overdue deadlines that I entirely set for myself, and all I want to do is to go off on random tangents exploring random fun things. I don't even have a boss to get mad at. and my wife is supportive of my nonsense. so truly it boils down to a game of me vs me
thinking about a scene from Outer Worlds - Vicar Max's vision quest
"I'm who you think you are. [...] I don't exist, yet you have judged yourself against me your whole life. Why do you berate yourself for not being me?"
![thinking about a scene from Outer Worlds - Vicar Max's vision quest"I'm who you think you are. [...] I don't exist, yet you have judged yourself against me your whole life. Why do you berate yourself for not being me?"](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EiiRhN7VgAAAr2M.jpg "thinking about a scene from Outer Worlds - Vicar Max's vision quest\"I'm who you think you are. [...] I don't exist, yet you have judged yourself against me your whole life. Why do you berate yourself for not being me?\"")
![thinking about a scene from Outer Worlds - Vicar Max's vision quest"I'm who you think you are. [...] I don't exist, yet you have judged yourself against me your whole life. Why do you berate yourself for not being me?"](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EiiRpHPVgAIsmd7.jpg "thinking about a scene from Outer Worlds - Vicar Max's vision quest\"I'm who you think you are. [...] I don't exist, yet you have judged yourself against me your whole life. Why do you berate yourself for not being me?\"")
"I'm who you think you are. [...] I don't exist, yet you have judged yourself against me your whole life. Why do you berate yourself for not being me?"
the hail mary move of doing work that's about how you're not doing work https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1308489873695809537
